Laugh Until We Fart

Put 'em In Your Mouth with Bryan Whorton

Shane Harges Season 5 Episode 6

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0:00 | 3:04:23

Send Studio Toot 'n Scoot a Text Message!

We turn a “TikTok Talent Show” into a full-contact comedy sprint, then slow down for real talk on auditions, near-misses, and the weird beauty of making things on deadline. A messy, joyful ride with horror hot takes, lab-life asides, and a thankful wrap.

• bone‑conduction lollipops meet TikTok watch party
• shoutouts for birthdays, Thanksgiving, and new bits
• guest acting grind, on‑avails, one‑line auditions
• overnight shoot to LA, AR glasses, trade‑show work
• eight‑page directions for a single “hello”
• writing momentum, faith‑based short script
• lab protocols, mice studies, internet misunderstanding
• horror ethics, Welcome to Derry defense, true crime lines
• comfort watches: Castle, Bob’s Burgers, Frankenstein on Netflix
• massage techniques, gua sha, deep tissue vs tickle therapy
• Walmart anthropology, footwear takes, parenting cues
• TikTok parade: cringe anthems, grandma ballads, cruise chaos
• gratitude, finale tease, and a song send‑off

We’ll see you on the season five finale in December: “We got, it’ll be breaking news. We’re going to let everyone know, we’re gonna reveal all the secrets.”


Visit BlendersEyewear.com and use the code: LUWF at check out to receive a sweet 16% discount on your total purchase price! They have many styles, colors, and even winter gear such as goggles and beanies to choose from. Blenders also make a fantastic stocking surprise for the upcoming winter holidays!

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Make sure to follow us on most social media platforms:

Shane Harges Comedy on Facebook and Youtubes and @shaneharges on Insta and TikTok!

Also bookmark shaneharges.com in your favorite web browser!

Support the show

Back In Studio, Energy Check

SPEAKER_30

Your hair is it looks like it smells like McDonald's phrase.

SPEAKER_37

Let me introduce Carl's Jr.

SPEAKER_30

friends.

unknown

I know that you're gonna have a good laugh.

SPEAKER_30

Bringing you the comedy that you really need to keep it entertaining.

unknown

You better believe, so let's get it back.

SPEAKER_35

That's right. He's got a TV.

New Bit: TikTok Talent Show

SPEAKER_30

Shane Hogg is that's what we want. He really likes the victim.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_37

Like the DoorDash driver that Oh baby, we are back in studio Tutin Scoop. Yep.

SPEAKER_31

Hello.

SPEAKER_37

And you might notice something a little different. A change.

SPEAKER_31

You've changed, man.

SPEAKER_35

Yes, he's gone through the change.

SPEAKER_37

The uh the per cassettes have um accelerated my hair growth.

SPEAKER_31

You kind of look like Jack Black.

SPEAKER_37

Jack Black?

SPEAKER_31

Kinda.

SPEAKER_37

Ooh. And and what you need to dye your beard. Like some two panda, Jack you had. How much have you had to drink?

SPEAKER_31

Me? I've only had Coke Zero.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. Yeah. Do you have the whole 12 back?

SPEAKER_31

No. I'm not out of control. I limit myself. Do a couple of days.

SPEAKER_37

That's not what Okay. Yeah. A couple cases. We're gonna get into that. First. Welcome back, Brian Morton.

SPEAKER_03

Brian Bride Brian L U W podcast.

SPEAKER_17

Brian Brian. Friday, Friday, Friday.

SPEAKER_37

Yep, he's back joining us. We are excited to have him back in studio Tootin' Scoobs.

SPEAKER_29

I'm surprised anyone came back.

SPEAKER_37

Kidding me? I don't love it.

SPEAKER_29

Oh, I was like, what was that?

SPEAKER_37

Yeah. Um also we have a new segment on the show. Okay. It's called TikTok Talent Show.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_37

And as we watch the TikTok talent show, I have a little surprise for us all. We each get one of these suckers.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_37

And they're bone conduction.

SPEAKER_30

Conquering?

SPEAKER_37

I said suckers. Um bone conductor. Bone bone or so when you put these in your mouth, you're gonna hear music.

SPEAKER_30

What if you put them elsewhere?

SPEAKER_37

Are there are there bones there?

SPEAKER_30

Your butt? Your pelvis.

SPEAKER_37

I didn't think of it.

SPEAKER_31

Your bone or bone?

SPEAKER_37

Your vernacular? I thought I was being awesome with getting suckers, and now we're gonna stick them in our butts.

SPEAKER_39

You're going, we just want stuff to go in our mouth all the time.

SPEAKER_31

So what do we do? Yay for the sucker! What do we do with these things again?

Thanksgiving Birthdays And Character Riffs

SPEAKER_30

We put them in our mouth and then like stick them in your butt and you put them in your mouth and suck them. Oh, if you put them in your butt, does the music come out of your mouth? No.

SPEAKER_37

Comes out of your wiener.

SPEAKER_30

I don't have a wiener.

SPEAKER_37

That's only a comes out of your wiener. It's gonna come out of your wiener.

SPEAKER_31

If you're a butt fate.

SPEAKER_37

But this is also a Thanksgiving and birthday podcast.

SPEAKER_28

It's not your birthday yet. It's one week from his birthday. It's my birthday month.

SPEAKER_35

It's my dad's birthday today.

SPEAKER_31

It is. Happy birthday, Fasha.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. Happy birthday to you.

SPEAKER_31

Is his name Ryan?

SPEAKER_35

It is not. Oh.

SPEAKER_37

It's Jim.

SPEAKER_31

Jim. James? Happy birthday, James. Jimmy.

SPEAKER_37

Jimmy James.

SPEAKER_31

Jimmy James. I'll give a shout-out.

SPEAKER_37

I don't have a name for this character yet.

SPEAKER_35

We'll come up with something by the end of the day.

SPEAKER_31

But I feel like Leek or something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_35

Like uh missing one. So a sword and elf ears and putting in Zelda.

SPEAKER_30

Are you trying to look like one of my book boyfriends?

SPEAKER_37

Yes. A book boyfriend?

SPEAKER_30

Oh, your elf, my smuddy fuck. Smuddy fucking smuddy fucking elf.

SPEAKER_35

Demon porn.

SPEAKER_30

My demon fuck. Famin Huntman.

SPEAKER_35

He kicked open the door with a frossity.

SPEAKER_30

What are you the narrator on my current book?

SPEAKER_37

I admit nothing.

SPEAKER_30

That was good. It's good, man.

SPEAKER_37

We gotta find work where we can find it.

SPEAKER_31

Hey, tiny stovers.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah, you have to.

SPEAKER_31

Well, you can't do uh accents.

SPEAKER_37

I know. I can't. Well, this has to have an accent.

SPEAKER_31

I wish. You can't have your regular voice.

SPEAKER_37

I I uh was hoping I could do like a Scottish So I could be from the Scottish Highlands. But I I can't do an accent.

SPEAKER_30

You look like a like a weird cousin of like Roman Reigns or something.

unknown

Roman Reigns.

SPEAKER_35

Roman Reigns WWE superstar. You're Billy Ray Cyrus' twin.

SPEAKER_30

No one knows about Billy Ray Cyrus's babe. Maybe Billy Ray from Big Trouble Little China.

SPEAKER_37

That's no, you're not gonna disrespect my favorite movie. Kurt Roth's Billy Ray. Uh and to let you know, I'm first cousins with Chris Gaines. Okay.

SPEAKER_30

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_37

Did you turn off the AC?

SPEAKER_30

I did. It was loud. Oh my god, we're gonna be sweating. Jesus Christ. You menopausal man.

SPEAKER_31

Coming in here just He's on perk set, man. It cakes him hot. He runs hot.

SPEAKER_37

I'm running hot. He's all that hair on the head. That hair down. I was about to say. You're not used to a lot of see what it's like to be a woman. Sacrifice for the bit, man.

SPEAKER_31

Do you see what it's like? Now you gotta put a tamp on it and see what that's like. Yeah. See what happens. I'm sure you probably do, you fucking weirdo.

SPEAKER_37

Actually, I got a pad. Heavy flow pad.

SPEAKER_31

Oh, he's pad.

SPEAKER_37

Soaks up sweat. So I can just pee right here.

SPEAKER_30

Oh yeah, it sucks up your chode sweat. Yeah.

SPEAKER_37

That's got a smell.

SPEAKER_30

Ew, uh. That has a texture.

SPEAKER_35

I mean, you went there and now you're yeah, you said oop. Like you guys took it. You opened that.

SPEAKER_30

What room are you in?

SPEAKER_35

This is normal. Bullshit.

SPEAKER_30

Okay.

SPEAKER_35

PG 13.

SPEAKER_30

Your kids aren't even PG.

SPEAKER_35

PG 13. 80s and 90s PG 13. Now PG 13. Because those are very different.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, the 90s for sure. That wasn't too back when cartoons could have death. Death.

SPEAKER_35

Death.

SPEAKER_37

Death among us. Without saying unalived.

SPEAKER_30

Unalived.

SPEAKER_37

Let's see. What what's gone on since Brian's been on last?

SPEAKER_31

That was like a year ago, wasn't it? I was about to say.

SPEAKER_29

Yeah. Brian's done a lot. Oh.

PG-13 Lines And 90s TV Nostalgia

SPEAKER_37

Let's see. You have a movie year in this out, Sarah's oil. Yep.

SPEAKER_30

Sarah.

SPEAKER_35

That's one.

SPEAKER_30

Tell us about it. Tell us.

SPEAKER_35

So um it's a based on a true story in Oklahoma where um back in the early 1900s when the Creek Friedman uh got to a certain age, they were given 160 acres of land. This little girl just knew that there was oil there, and it's the oil execs trying to take her land and kill her and her family, and then you know, she stands up to all of them. And that's awesome.

SPEAKER_30

No, he's he's droopy.

SPEAKER_37

Loosen it right there.

SPEAKER_30

She's droopy. Yeah, there we go.

SPEAKER_37

And then because you want to talk into the front of it, I think.

SPEAKER_30

I know you're new to entertainment, so I know.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah, right. Yeah. Now we can get her.

SPEAKER_31

All the breathing and the voices.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah, Sarah's oil. You also wrote a script, though. Absolutely okay.

SPEAKER_35

Did that won some awards, right? Yeah, it's um I need to do need to make myself sit down and do the rewriting process. That is um because I'm also getting my master's at this time, so it's get out.

SPEAKER_30

Why are you so motivated? What do you get in your master's in?

SPEAKER_35

Uh business management and leadership. So this uh last class, the professor seems to think that nothing else is going on in the world except for this finance class. And one assignment took seven hours. Seven hours. A finance class? Finance class. Yeah, it's one problem took two and a half hours.

SPEAKER_30

They have whole ass programs asking, do the math for it.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah, one of the Excel uh formula pages where everything was, it was over 130 lines.

SPEAKER_30

Of Excel.

SPEAKER_35

Of Excel. Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

No, stubborn.

SPEAKER_35

I was like, man, if I wasn't so close, I'd say fuck this shit. Wow. But I'll I'll graduate in May. Woo!

SPEAKER_31

That's awesome. You get a walk to stage?

SPEAKER_35

Yep.

SPEAKER_31

Where?

SPEAKER_35

Uh I don't know where they're doing it. It's uh Oklahoma City University. Cool. So it's where I uh where I spent my freshman year of college. Back in 98, 99. Long time ago. Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Wow.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah, well, I feel like a loser after all.

SPEAKER_30

I'm sorry. Oh, come on. Why do you feel like a loser, Miss?

SPEAKER_10

Because he is successful.

SPEAKER_30

I'm sorry, you have like a whole monkey protocol? It's a mouse. A mouse protocol? Tell us about your m mouses. It's not that exciting. Shut the full fuck up. Yes, it is. Shh mouse shh. So she does cool animal shit.

SPEAKER_37

Uh don't tell where we need context.

SPEAKER_30

Not a whole shit.

SPEAKER_37

Stop.

SPEAKER_30

Uh thercus. A thircus? Oh my gosh. Wrote on a ringmaster protocol, right? Would that be the right word for a study? A study that now is used, like can be used all over the place, and it has her name all over it.

SPEAKER_37

Hey, way to go.

SPEAKER_30

Yeah. Yep. I didn't get a raise, but what?

SPEAKER_37

And it's and it's how to get a mouse to grow two wieners. Two wieners. Yeah.

SPEAKER_35

Okay. Well, sometimes. Yeah. I mean. Yep. And the population is going down.

SPEAKER_37

She's like a scientist or something.

SPEAKER_31

I they'll let you do anything. They'll let you do anything. That I don't know. The right protocol, use the right words.

SPEAKER_37

And you wear that white lab coat.

SPEAKER_31

That lab coat?

SPEAKER_37

You are legit.

SPEAKER_35

You got it. Two wieners. Two wieners. At the same time.

unknown

Wow.

SPEAKER_30

Would two wieners come out of the same place? Would it be like a branch from the original wiener?

SPEAKER_31

Oh, like a double wiener? Yeah. No, nothing. We did sew two mice together. A young mouse and an old mouse. So what was the young mouse will heal the younger mouse? The younger mouse will heal the older mouse.

SPEAKER_30

So like a mouse centipede?

SPEAKER_31

Kind of.

SPEAKER_37

Oh, it wasn't. Did it work? Ooh, that's to mouth like that.

SPEAKER_29

No, like side by side. Oh. And when one goes say that. Is it like liver to liver?

SPEAKER_35

So there's people that are growing that way. Spend their entire lives trying to get away from each other, and they're like, you know what we should do? Put them back together. That guy needs training wheels to put two people on top of the channel.

SPEAKER_31

I'm like, what if they don't like each other?

SPEAKER_35

That sucks.

SPEAKER_31

You're like, damn it. I can never get away from you.

SPEAKER_37

What if you were connected by the ass?

SPEAKER_31

Yeah, they just poop on each other a little bit.

SPEAKER_37

Oh man.

SPEAKER_31

Just goes in and out.

SPEAKER_30

It's a shit oscillator?

SPEAKER_35

Yeah, you're just passing it back and forth. Sepsis is happening very super quick.

SPEAKER_30

You're gonna be bloated.

unknown

Hey!

SPEAKER_28

Did you get shit in my butt? Get your shit out of my butt.

SPEAKER_31

I was saving it for ye.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_29

We're fucking weird.

SPEAKER_31

I don't know why you came in.

SPEAKER_35

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Would they always be constipated or never be constipated? Always.

SPEAKER_35

Well, I mean, the the overflow is also a form of constipation, right?

SPEAKER_30

So that's is it all solid?

SPEAKER_35

No.

SPEAKER_30

Or at some point is it just moved so much that it's like foamy. Ugh.

SPEAKER_35

You wake up and like half of them is like four inches around.

SPEAKER_30

Do you just squeeze one to balance it out?

SPEAKER_43

Bug out the eyes. They puke it up.

SPEAKER_31

I should never trust the phone.

SPEAKER_37

No.

SPEAKER_31

We're weird fucking people. Wow.

SPEAKER_37

I know. And you want to know what's really weird?

SPEAKER_31

But he came back. Highbrow educated folk.

SPEAKER_37

He's like, get me in, man. Let's go.

SPEAKER_31

I had nothing going on today.

SPEAKER_37

Nor did you want to. Normal people scare me. Get on here and just be fucking silly. Who wouldn't want to do this? Yeah. I agree. We want to be all serious. We don't talk politics.

SPEAKER_28

I'm very serious. You want to talk conspiracy theory?

SPEAKER_37

No, we we yeah, you go down a conspiracy theory. I like that. I do like those. I can't lie. I do like those. But in getting ready for this episode, I came across a movie trailer that I hadn't seen before. Okay.

SPEAKER_30

You want to be in it?

SPEAKER_37

I would be in this movie.

SPEAKER_30

Would it require the wig? It's possible.

SPEAKER_37

In fact, yeah.

SPEAKER_31

Is that you?

SPEAKER_46

All citizens to stay inside.

SPEAKER_35

Do a shame so never fart.

SPEAKER_31

Eric. Honey. Just don't think about it.

SPEAKER_32

Just hold it in, buddy. Don't do this to me, Eric.

SPEAKER_34

Just suck it back up there. I just thought we practice hooker.

SPEAKER_17

We practice this.

Excel Hell And Commencement Plans

SPEAKER_34

Don't give it in.

SPEAKER_54

Oh no.

SPEAKER_40

I can't.

SPEAKER_03

Oh now. Get out of here.

SPEAKER_30

Get in. You would be the first person to die. Probably.

SPEAKER_35

Somebody spent money on me. Not in the house with toilet paper.

SPEAKER_12

I'll always be by your side. Oh no.

SPEAKER_35

They'd give me a must sleep.

SPEAKER_12

Mm-hmm. Oh, that reeks. Tiff. What have you done? It's okay. It didn't make a sound. I didn't think it would smell, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_50

How would you know if it was gonna smell or not? And that's not how any of this works.

SPEAKER_30

It's not gonna snart. A fart, baby? What about a baby fart?

SPEAKER_34

According to this, we should all be farting ten to twenty times a day. This is just not sustainable. I don't see how we can survive like this any longer.

SPEAKER_50

Andre, you gotta relax, okay? We're alive. We've made it this far. We just have to be smart. We gotta keep avoiding dairy, beer, and obviously beans. RAP John. And we'll be good.

SPEAKER_12

If we can't hold them in. We have to hold them in.

SPEAKER_31

You made that, didn't you?

SPEAKER_30

Is that your uh you made that? Is that your pitch for a 48 hour?

SPEAKER_43

That's enough. The only place that would be good at. I gotta give it up.

SPEAKER_31

A quiet quality.

SPEAKER_37

Good quality production. I mean, they spent money on something. It looks good. I mean, I was like, wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_30

So would this so it's if they smell you? So all of your fart ninjas wouldn't well said noise too, didn't it? Okay. So would this be like a like a like a decoy to trap them?

Lab Life: Mice, Protocols, And Wild Science

SPEAKER_37

Probably confuse them so that then we can kill them. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_35

I mean, can you not just like get a whole arena of fart spray? Get them all in there and then they go fart bomb light.

SPEAKER_30

Fart bomb. What would they do?

SPEAKER_37

I don't know.

SPEAKER_30

They like frenzy.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_37

I don't know.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah, you would die immediately. You'd be the first person. You are Daniel.

SPEAKER_37

No, I have my trap set up. I wouldn't be able to leave this room. I got my samurai sword right up there. Plug it up. Those with the long hair. You know what I'm saying? Last samurai. You know, Tom Cruise. The third to last samurai.

SPEAKER_31

I'm the quiet fart.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah, I'm the last resort.

SPEAKER_31

What are you gonna plug your butthole with? Zombie buttons. Oh, you're just gonna live on the edge?

SPEAKER_37

That's makeup.

SPEAKER_31

I would plug it.

SPEAKER_37

I'm fast with the sword. I'll fart and just slice them. And then I'll trick them. They don't know where it came from.

SPEAKER_31

No, you have too many loose farts that'll just come out with loose farts.

SPEAKER_37

Just walking around, they fall out.

SPEAKER_30

It's not squeegee.

SPEAKER_31

It's squeegee fart.

SPEAKER_37

Also, okay. While preparing. I found a video of future tailor.

SPEAKER_30

Future?

SPEAKER_37

And I didn't get it from OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_30

No, that's current Taylor.

unknown

No, it's not.

SPEAKER_35

That was last Thursday.

SPEAKER_31

I quit. That is the X lady.

SPEAKER_37

And there she is. That was her.

SPEAKER_29

She gets a lot of wiener, though. Oh. Double wiener.

SPEAKER_30

Only if they're still gonna be there. Yeah, by then it'll be on human. Only if they're stone together. That's right. Stroke. Stroke.

SPEAKER_35

That's what she's gonna have when she gets done. Yeah, she is.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah, is she by then it'll be at human trials.

SPEAKER_30

So human two wieners. Perfect.

SPEAKER_37

Human two wieners.

SPEAKER_30

Um two wiener Scott.

SPEAKER_37

The River Spirit guy is that his dance partner. Could be.

SPEAKER_30

Who's River Spirit? He's the dancy guy with like the mesh sleeveless shirt and the tall pirate boots that go over his knees.

SPEAKER_37

Tight pants, tight jeans, such as never happen.

SPEAKER_30

Oh.

SPEAKER_37

Ever.

SPEAKER_30

But it does. Like every week at River Spirit Casino, we think.

SPEAKER_35

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

SPEAKER_37

Well, uh he can't, though. That's the thing. The Pope has an account on TikTok. Pope. I see these. And I'm just waiting to catch dad in one of the videos. The Pope has a Pope.

SPEAKER_30

Why are you talking about the Pope?

SPEAKER_37

I didn't say Pope.

SPEAKER_30

You 100%.

SPEAKER_31

You said the Pope has a Pope has a TikTok. Because I wanted to watch that.

SPEAKER_37

Oh I think I said the post has a TikTok and I meant the account.

SPEAKER_31

Oh. You said Pope.

SPEAKER_37

Okay, so River Spirit.

SPEAKER_31

It's fine.

SPEAKER_37

River Spirit has a TikTok. Okay. And I watch them. That's what I'm doing. Do we need to start over? You're gonna hang on every word I say. I better make sure I'm saying everything correctly. Damn shorty notes. I'm gonna write down my screen.

SPEAKER_28

Are you guys fighting? You will listen to every word I have to say. He's fussy, because he had surgery. He's fussy, fussy.

SPEAKER_37

No, what I want us to do.

SPEAKER_28

Calm the fuck down.

SPEAKER_37

Is finish the lyrics of a song.

SPEAKER_30

Ooh, okay.

SPEAKER_37

That's what I want to play now.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, but I'm good at that.

SPEAKER_37

I know.

SPEAKER_35

Re real lyrics, or are we making them up?

SPEAKER_30

Are you fucking fucking up my songs?

SPEAKER_15

Are you fucking I'm smart, but I'm stupid. Human gay, but I'm straight. Baby! That's Taylor. What are you coming down to?

SPEAKER_35

You said you were good at it.

SPEAKER_30

I mean, do you want the real one or what? That would be Yeah, you want fart ones or what?

SPEAKER_37

What do you mean? What do you mean? What kind of show is this? Is she singing the right lyrics?

SPEAKER_15

No food. When it all comes out!

SPEAKER_35

Lannis is mad. She didn't think of it first.

SPEAKER_37

Oh, you're not good at it. You said you were good at finishing the lyrics.

SPEAKER_30

Bring it out of the way.

SPEAKER_37

Swing it. From the top rope.

SPEAKER_30

You need to take that wig off from the right now.

SPEAKER_37

Nothing? You got something?

SPEAKER_30

We gotta replay it now.

SPEAKER_37

Ready?

SPEAKER_15

Smart, but I'm stupid. I'm good, but I'm straight. I crop dust no food.

SPEAKER_31

What if a mouse with two in a stolen pack of coke?

SPEAKER_12

Call me out!

SPEAKER_37

Yeah, what happened with the Coke?

SPEAKER_12

I have a confession. Forgive me, Father.

SPEAKER_30

That's why you need the poke stuff.

SPEAKER_31

I accidentally stole. I didn't say accidentally steal. You accidentally stole. I forgot to pay, I think. I'm not positive. I didn't check. I think I stole a 12-pack of Coke Zero.

Horror Watchlist: Ed Gein, Dahmer, Monster

SPEAKER_37

Yeah, so how many people out there have ever gone to Walmart, put something on the very bottom of the shopping cart? She lives at. And have just walked.

SPEAKER_31

I have never killed now. Actually, one time a bra was stuck to my cart and I didn't know.

SPEAKER_30

Was it a bra you wanted or just a random brain?

SPEAKER_31

I was walking through. I remember hitting something, and I just keep going.

SPEAKER_30

Was it just someone's bra? Or was it when the store was selling? It was a store bar. Yeah, I'm just I'm like, did an old lady just go like say, ah, bring the ta-ta! Who's taking bra at Walmart?

SPEAKER_37

Did you run over a little person?

SPEAKER_31

Oh, I remember going through the rack and it hit it, and I was like, fuck you.

SPEAKER_30

That's where you get a bra. When I went out of my car, I was like, oh, I stole a bra. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_31

It was like tomorrow. Did you keep it?

SPEAKER_37

She went and returned today.

SPEAKER_30

I'm not, but it's so big, but it works. I feel like if you did a if you did a survey of how many people are just taking their bras off in Walmart, I think you would be shocked at how far away from zero that is. You do have a point.

SPEAKER_35

The fact that there is a website called The People of Walmart. Yes. Still going all you need to do. I'm sure I'm not. Have you ever seen any I did one time.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, you saw a person in Walmart?

SPEAKER_35

Tell us. I was trying to. It was like a 65, 70-year-old man. He was walking in like a he was in like Cinderella high heels and a blue moo moo with like fur on the like and I was trying to get a picture. And I could never make it obvious. Now Brian now would have been like Brian now. Hey! I still had a little bit of pose. I took a photo. I looked. I was looking at the website. I was like, sure, somebody.

SPEAKER_03

I'm flipping through, and I was like, I saw that one.

SPEAKER_37

And you'll catch those people a lot of times at customer service. Yeah. Because they're trying to return things. And so this one's got skid marks on it. I actually had to go return something, and I looked at the woman in front of me, and she was barefoot.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Ew.

SPEAKER_37

And so I looked down at her feet and I got my phone out and snapped a photo because she had those dirty, dry, cracked feet, and it was like the Grand Canyon in her heel cutting through her heels.

SPEAKER_30

She gets pedicures done.

SPEAKER_37

Now.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_37

After that picture. Yeah.

SPEAKER_31

After he called me out.

SPEAKER_37

After I stuck that photo in a birthday card for take care of this.

SPEAKER_31

I know what you did last Thursday.

SPEAKER_30

Why would you go to Walmart barefoot?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_35

Why would you go anywhere?

SPEAKER_30

Anywhere with no shoes. That just that gives me more than an I mean. That would that's appropriate to not have shoes on there. Why would you go into a public enclosed space?

SPEAKER_37

You know one of my rules takes a lot is to skip so many changes. I am not prepared.

SPEAKER_14

Eric.

SPEAKER_37

Like I don't trust a guy flip flops that's got open-toed shoes.

SPEAKER_35

I don't wear flip-flops, period. No.

SPEAKER_31

At the beach, you don't wear ever. You would wear slides.

SPEAKER_30

Everybody pedicures either?

SPEAKER_37

No. Wait, you don't ever slides around the house. And around a pool, maybe.

SPEAKER_31

They're that white.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_31

Are they crusty?

SPEAKER_30

Do you have gross? Do you have gross feet?

SPEAKER_31

Probably not because he never takes his socks off.

SPEAKER_35

I just don't. I have I don't do feet.

SPEAKER_31

Do you go to the lake when you wear shoes? Oh, water shoes.

SPEAKER_35

Not if I'm yeah. Rubber boots. I wear water shoes. I don't know.

SPEAKER_31

Do you have webbed feet?

SPEAKER_35

No.

SPEAKER_31

Oh.

SPEAKER_35

You'd swim faster.

SPEAKER_31

Be cooler if you did.

SPEAKER_37

It would be cooler if I did.

SPEAKER_31

I don't have great feet, but I still wear sandals.

SPEAKER_37

Well, women is cool. I don't know.

SPEAKER_31

I've seen some gnarly feet on women.

SPEAKER_37

Well, I'm just saying that's true. Women wearing open-toed shoes.

SPEAKER_31

He has a thing with men and sandals.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah, I can't do it.

SPEAKER_31

What about Jesus? Well, it's well.

SPEAKER_37

Nowadays we wear socks and slides.

SPEAKER_30

Jeans and flip-flops that he has a big problem with.

SPEAKER_37

Jesus didn't have Air Force ones. Okay.

SPEAKER_30

And if he did, he would have worn it.

SPEAKER_37

There is a joke I was just about to say, but I would probably get called anti-perspirant. If you see where I'm going.

SPEAKER_30

I never see where you're going.

SPEAKER_37

She doesn't. Because I don't even know where I'm going. That's why she's in the back seat all the time. That was a bad joke. I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say it. I want to, but I'm not. What? You're fired. Good luck fired. You know what? You're fired, okay? You didn't follow Proto. I didn't follow. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_35

I'll deal with you later.

SPEAKER_37

Well, Brian, have you booked anything lately that you can talk about?

SPEAKER_35

Uh yeah, actually. Um, so I had a one shot a deal for Qualcomm out in LA.

SPEAKER_28

Cool. Qualcomm.

SPEAKER_35

The end of October. I think I and ended up. Went like 40 hours without sleep.

SPEAKER_45

40?

SPEAKER_35

Because it was in I was north of Austin. Got a call at like 2 30. Hey, you're on a veil. Say, cool, but I need to know pretty quick. And so two hours later I found out I was so 4 30. I'm an hour outside of Austin, and I gotta go get my clothes out of the hotel, check out, and drive an hour to the airport. Jeez. And get on a flight to LA, and it's the last one out, and I had to be there for the next morning.

SPEAKER_30

Oh my gosh. No, thank you.

SPEAKER_35

So I did all that. And then I ended up did that. It was a great shoot. It was had a great time with them. And uh then I got back here at like 9 a.m. on Halloween. And I left LA at 12 55 a.m. Oh my gosh. And went straight to work. Oh boy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_29

Why did you do that? Well, that's pretty awesome. I bet you were cranky.

SPEAKER_37

Sometimes that happens.

SPEAKER_35

No, that's uh that's why I drink caffeine. Um it's for other people's protection, not for that would have to be a lot of caffeine. It was uh it was a three energy drink.

SPEAKER_30

Your kidneys. Your kidneys.

SPEAKER_35

I drink a gallon of water a day, so I flush. Okay.

SPEAKER_30

A gallon. God, I'm lucky if I drink a gallon in a month. I'd write none to die, man. I was about to say, I don't think I had any water today.

unknown

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_30

I got a headache.

SPEAKER_37

That's true, though. I wonder why. My legs are cramping at night.

SPEAKER_31

What did you have to do with Charlie Horse? What did you have to do in the audition?

SPEAKER_35

The audition was uh just like it was a warehouse part, you know, just do this, whatever. But then they won they brought me in for like a warehouse worker, and it was a weird deal like with their uh like their AI glasses. Oh and you know, I'm like all Tony Stark on machines and stuff like that. You know, you're in a warehouse wearing glasses, just going in the air, just turning it. It was like, oh my god, this mouse has two wieners. Take this one and turn it this way and turn it this way.

SPEAKER_15

Wow.

SPEAKER_35

So yeah, so you're in a warehouse going like just a bunch of people.

SPEAKER_30

Fucking rain man? I know. Rain man.

Castle, Frankenstein, And Comfort Shows

SPEAKER_35

You look at a machines going, okay, so this can come out of here and this can do a that's kind of cool though.

SPEAKER_30

Have you seen it yet? Like the will they send you the finished? No. Okay.

SPEAKER_35

I'll have to keep looking because it'll be uh they're gonna use it internally. So imagine it'll be like trade shows and stuff like that to do some social media stuff and they'll put it on the website.

SPEAKER_31

Ooh, you'll be on like people's training.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. That's cool.

SPEAKER_37

Uh that guy's looking at two wiener mouse.

SPEAKER_30

What's your what's the most annoying or frustrating or whatever type of audition for you? Herpes. S T I's. My gonorrhea won't get me down.

SPEAKER_35

No, I did. I did I did audition for a Jardiance commercial. Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Did you have to do the dance?

SPEAKER_35

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_30

My wife says it's an A1C medication.

SPEAKER_35

That's what she said to me. She's gonna kill me if she ever kills me. Oh my god!

SPEAKER_37

But yeah, it was so Yeah, I did some dancing for a 7-Eleven audition.

SPEAKER_30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_35

And I filmed it with Michelle. Oh, did you? And she was dying.

SPEAKER_31

What was your dance move? What's your go-to?

SPEAKER_35

Not that.

SPEAKER_31

Oh, you were acting.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_31

Mine's finger pistols.

SPEAKER_35

Well, I know we saw you.

SPEAKER_31

Oh, that's right.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. Hip thrust. Russian. Hip thrusting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Were you in the dinosaur movie?

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah?

SPEAKER_30

Oh, that's right. Yeah, he was in the uh coffee shop. Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_35

So my kids are watching that, and I'm yeah, David Lee Anderson and I are just, they let us go on for like 30 minutes. Yeah. Just improving. Just go. They just let us go. No clue what they were going to put in. So sits in by the dinosaur. My wife sounds like a dying where she sleeps or something like that. Whatever. I was sitting with the casting crew and all three of them, my two kids.

SPEAKER_46

That's funny.

SPEAKER_37

We watched something with uh that Brian was in not too long ago.

SPEAKER_30

I know, I'm trying to remember what it was.

SPEAKER_37

Resurrection Road. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, yeah. General Commander, Colonel, whatever you were.

SPEAKER_37

Habers. Colonel Habers, yeah. Commander, General Colonel.

SPEAKER_30

Commander, General, Colonel Hayward.

SPEAKER_37

Sergeant Esquire. No, that turned out pretty good. Yeah. That was a good movie. I filmed some stuff for that. And we were like, we we knew if it if I was gonna pop up in it, it was only gonna be for a split second. So we're watching pretty diligently. Yeah, yeah. And then one of the scenes pops, and I go, oh well. No, they didn't get it.

SPEAKER_30

I'm just you're like, I screened.

SPEAKER_37

And then that's the second one. Is like we see uh I think it was one of the actors, is it maybe his name's Curly? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so he's in like the like an old dining hall at that fort, and he's backing up, and he's supposed to like back into a vampire, and that was me. And so we filmed it, and I was like, ooh, you might actually see me, because he turns around and it's like we're looking at each other while when we watch the film, he backs up, backs up, and it stops and he starts shooting, and I pause it and I go, I am right there.

SPEAKER_30

Like no, like right there. Do you see that sliver of shadow? That's me. So if you imagine just off the TV, I'm standing right here. Oh, so close. Yeah, so far.

SPEAKER_36

It happens. It was fun, right? Yeah, it was a cool one.

SPEAKER_30

But you were full front and center on glowdown.

SPEAKER_36

Yeah, glowdown. That was cool.

SPEAKER_30

Uh, what's your least favorite type of audition to do?

Parenting, K‑Pop, And Footwear Hot Takes

SPEAKER_37

Um, it's the one where they give you instructions for facial reactions.

SPEAKER_54

A warm smile.

SPEAKER_31

Oh.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. One I smile or be angry here, be happy here. Laded here.

SPEAKER_37

You're walking down the street. You're walking down the street and you see so-and-so across, and you give a warm smile and happy gesture or something. It's weird.

SPEAKER_31

What do you do?

SPEAKER_37

Just I try my best. I hate my smile. So when it's like always give us a big smile, I'm just like, well, I'm not gonna get this. He tries though. I try. I just try. We're gonna work on this today, Casey. You only do the who wants who wants this guy to sell their product?

SPEAKER_31

You only want like mean face?

SPEAKER_37

I got the clap. But I can do everything still. I can canoe.

SPEAKER_27

Gardening, go camping. Gosh, I can even talk to a grandma. I love going camping when I got the clap.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah. I hate those. Those are the ones I don't what other ones have I said? Do you remember?

SPEAKER_30

Those are the ones that you cuss about the most.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah, no, I I don't like those. When you get eight pages of instructions for a two-line audition.

SPEAKER_31

Eight pages.

SPEAKER_35

I'll do some of them are special.

SPEAKER_31

Uh-huh. Awesome.

SPEAKER_37

Instructions, instructions, instructions.

SPEAKER_35

They're getting better. Say hello.

SPEAKER_54

Say hello.

SPEAKER_35

They're getting better. But yeah. But yeah, there's some that the instructions are significantly longer than the audition.

SPEAKER_37

So then you're sitting here going, okay, so I just say hello. Um, how can I make this different than what the casting director is gonna see from a thousand other people?

SPEAKER_44

Hi! Hello!

SPEAKER_20

Hello? Hello?

SPEAKER_35

He goes warranting something about Mary.

SPEAKER_20

Yeah, the the one-line auditions aren't.

SPEAKER_30

No, but it's a short little thing, you know. You have a better time with those anyway.

SPEAKER_37

Oh, yeah, definitely than the expressions. So I probably won't get any commercials.

SPEAKER_30

I'm really waiting to for you to get some sort of notice that, hey, you didn't get it, but who's your reader?

SPEAKER_29

Keep wishing. Keep wishing.

SPEAKER_37

We would hire her.

SPEAKER_29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_37

That's all you're wanting.

SPEAKER_31

What are you gonna do with your degree?

SPEAKER_35

Hang it on my wall.

SPEAKER_31

I don't know if you were gonna get like a promotion or something.

SPEAKER_35

No, no. I started doing it. Um, so I had a job change middle of last year.

SPEAKER_31

Oh.

SPEAKER_35

Place I'd been at for 23, almost 24 years. And you switched? Not voluntarily.

SPEAKER_31

Oh shit. Yeah, yeah. One of them. You want me to fuck them up? I will. Nope. I know some people, I know some monkeys.

SPEAKER_37

They're doing it. And if they sales if they have Coca-Cola in their building, she'll scream.

SPEAKER_30

I'll I'll straight up steal damn damn go to the vending machine. I won't pay. I'll steal them them their soda pop. I'll steal it. I'll shit in their shoes.

SPEAKER_31

They're just rolling their vending machine out with the show. I would like to um see you. I'll shit on their desks. I'm then.

SPEAKER_37

You do that at your work?

SPEAKER_35

I I might have.

SPEAKER_30

I might have.

SPEAKER_35

I have that's gonna be the loudest part of this episode. Oh, you might like he's gonna like 3X the Yeah.

SPEAKER_37

Like that's gonna be a guttural and then a ticker. She had a fleshlight in her desk.

SPEAKER_31

It was for research.

SPEAKER_37

I bet it was. Monkeys. Yeah. When Casey found mine, that's what I said.

SPEAKER_31

It's me monkey research.

SPEAKER_37

It's for my monkey, right?

SPEAKER_31

I swear. It's me monkey. All right.

SPEAKER_37

Did you trying to get a baboon to use it? It's just weird.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah, I did it. I tried. It didn't work.

SPEAKER_35

Those are things you don't say out loud to people. Oh. That's probably why I have no books.

SPEAKER_37

Imagine like some.

SPEAKER_35

What did you do today? Well, funny thing.

SPEAKER_37

We had a breakthrough and some of the top brass walks in for a tour. Right. They're like, oh.

SPEAKER_29

This is our trainer. And this is this is Taylor.

SPEAKER_35

And this is why you donate millions to them.

SPEAKER_28

You gotta flick the balls.

SPEAKER_37

And Taylor's like, okay, little baboon. You put your little and you can do this. You do this.

SPEAKER_27

Here you go. What do you mean that didn't work?

SPEAKER_37

It did with the baboon.

SPEAKER_30

We even used the same one.

SPEAKER_31

And then it disappeared, which is even worse of the part of the story. Wait, the baboon or the the flashlight. It disappeared.

Acting Grind: Auditions, On‑Avails, Near Misses

SPEAKER_35

Probably still that too. It was hooked in a bra. I don't need one.

SPEAKER_31

I don't have a wiener. What am I gonna do with the fleshlight?

SPEAKER_37

I bet a janitor found it.

SPEAKER_31

No, they don't come in our building. Secure building.

SPEAKER_37

No, they do it in the fleshlight. Who cleans?

SPEAKER_31

We do.

SPEAKER_37

Oh, even the toilets?

SPEAKER_31

Yes.

SPEAKER_37

You gotta clean your own toilets? I mean, I don't.

SPEAKER_35

It's just fine.

SPEAKER_37

The low person.

SPEAKER_30

We have cage wash stuff.

SPEAKER_43

Oh messages.

SPEAKER_30

What happened? You missed a whole joke. Oh. Well, we were talking about janitors.

SPEAKER_43

So who were we?

SPEAKER_30

No, I'm pretty sure it was one of the weird technician dudes. Weird technician dudes? Do you think he stole it because a baboon used it?

SPEAKER_36

This is gonna give me powers.

SPEAKER_28

Give me superpowers like spiderman. I'm gonna have a monkey dick.

SPEAKER_45

Don't know that that's what you want to aspire to.

SPEAKER_37

I have this ready.

SPEAKER_31

Monkeys only do it for like a s second. So it's not exciting. It's not like you want to do that.

SPEAKER_35

There should never be an excitement when watching.

SPEAKER_31

Well, I didn't be watching. I mean it's not what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_29

It's like it wasn't exciting for me. It didn't get me anyway.

SPEAKER_30

Every day, of course it's not exciting. Oh no, she's desensitized by that. She isn't porn.

SPEAKER_43

Right.

SPEAKER_35

She's like, that's how she got the idea for the mouse.

SPEAKER_30

There it is.

SPEAKER_43

She was like, hmm.

SPEAKER_20

What the hell is that?

SPEAKER_35

You know what would make this better.

SPEAKER_20

Two of them.

SPEAKER_35

Two of them.

SPEAKER_20

Two wieners. Two mice? No. No. No, no. Two wieners. Two wiener mouth dicks. Two wiener dicks.

SPEAKER_35

Can you imagine her walking into her boss? I've got an idea.

SPEAKER_31

I've got an idea. Hear me out. Hear me out.

SPEAKER_35

Hear me out. Before you say no, I've given this a lot of thought.

SPEAKER_30

I already have funding. I brought it in front of a panel of professionals.

SPEAKER_35

Here's some fabric I've already sewn together to give you a visual. Here's a stuffed animal.

SPEAKER_30

Look at these two uh cat toys.

SPEAKER_37

We're also making miniature flesh lights for them.

SPEAKER_31

Ooh. Mouse size.

SPEAKER_37

Mouse size.

SPEAKER_35

It's gotta be a really bad day when you go up and they go, You're measuring today.

SPEAKER_30

You're measuring. Oh damn it. Do you think they use calipers for that?

SPEAKER_35

Right. Oh my god. It's the fastest 3D printing job ever. Done.

SPEAKER_31

3D printer. 3D print a mouse with two winners. Ask Courtney if she has a 3D printer. I bet she would. She wouldn't.

SPEAKER_30

Twin printers.

SPEAKER_35

Dan would. Dan would. Here's this program I need you to run from still.

SPEAKER_37

Two nine for science. Just take this file, load it, run it. Don't look at it.

SPEAKER_35

Don't look at it. Don't ask questions. You need plausible deniability. And if you look at it, you won't have it.

SPEAKER_31

Speaking of that, are you not watching The Monster Within? Is that what's called the Demon Monster Within on Netflix?

SPEAKER_35

Is that the one about the mom? No, which one is that?

unknown

What? I don't know that one.

SPEAKER_30

Is it a documentary?

SPEAKER_35

Oh no, no, that's the Ed Demon.

SPEAKER_31

No. That's Monster. That's Monsters. That's Monsters. I think it's the Monster Within or The Evil Within or something. I don't know the actor's name, but it's got Claire Danes. No. And she has a neighbor that moves in.

SPEAKER_35

Well, that would be her name.

SPEAKER_31

What did I say?

SPEAKER_30

I don't know. I don't know the actor's name, but it has Claire Danes'.

SPEAKER_31

No, but I meant the I didn't I'm sorry. I didn't know the male actor's name, but he's really good and he's creepy. Anyway. Claire Danes.

SPEAKER_37

Creepy makes him good. Is it? Yes.

SPEAKER_31

He's creepy. He's a good actor.

SPEAKER_37

So what's so what's it about? Is it a series?

SPEAKER_31

It's like a limited series or a short series, whatever they call those.

SPEAKER_30

And you don't know about this? I don't. But it's not a documentary. That's why I don't know about it.

SPEAKER_31

Come on.

SPEAKER_37

It didn't happen in real life. I don't know.

SPEAKER_31

So Claire Danes is like a struggling writer. Perfect. And her son died in a car accident. She was driving, but it wasn't her fault. And a neighbor moves in, and he's famous, rich, family, money, whatever. And his wife had died mysteriously before that, but they never found the body. He said it was a suicide, but they never found the body. And then some other stuff starts happening. Okay. Looking it up. I want to watch that.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. Monsters Within is the name of a movie that a friend of ours made. Very good.

SPEAKER_31

Oh, maybe I'm wrong.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah, very good.

SPEAKER_35

Devin. Devin and Devin Montgomery and I think that group is. What was that movie? Excellent movie.

SPEAKER_37

Um let me look it up. I told you about it. Yeah. Uh he uh it's uh about uh a soldier that's dealing with PTSD. Yeah. Very good, very well done.

SPEAKER_35

Um they've gotten a lot of accolades for it, and they've all been deserved Devon's one best actor at like a dozen film festivals. Um they've best direction, best script. I mean, they've been nominated for all kinds of stuff. They've it's been yeah, it's on Amazon Prime.

SPEAKER_37

Go rent it. It's I mean, it's a lot better than some of the stuff that's come out in the movie theaters. That is that is mainly not a lie. It's very well done.

SPEAKER_30

Um Taylor, what's it called? I don't remember. You made it up.

unknown

No, I didn't.

SPEAKER_35

Said it's on Netflix.

SPEAKER_30

What a liar.

SPEAKER_35

She needs a Coke Zero to jump start that.

SPEAKER_31

She does. She does have a song.

SPEAKER_37

Let me let me put on some Hold on. Where's the Jeopardy theme song?

SPEAKER_30

We like to class it up a little bit.

SPEAKER_35

Is it the The Beast in Me? Hell maybe. Is that the what you're thinking of?

SPEAKER_31

The Beast in Me? Let me Google.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. That's a porn. That sounds like Matthew Reese.

SPEAKER_30

Matthew Reese. The Beast in Me sounds like one of my Smuddy books.

SPEAKER_35

It does.

SPEAKER_31

The plot of the Beast in Me centers on Aggiewiggs, a reclusive author haunted by the death of her son, who becomes obsessed with her new enigmatic neighbor, Niall Jarvis.

SPEAKER_37

Okay. The yeast in me. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_31

Jarvis is a wealthy real estate owner.

SPEAKER_35

Brittany Snow's in it, so all right.

SPEAKER_37

I I used to have a crush on Claire Danes. Ellen Roman, I was like, I haven't seen her in a while.

SPEAKER_31

Well, she's a little rough, but is she? She's a little rough.

SPEAKER_35

Hold on, I'll show you.

SPEAKER_31

But Brittany Snow's pretty good.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_31

Who's Brittany Snow?

SPEAKER_35

Pitch Perfect.

SPEAKER_31

Oh. Yes, the redhead. Got it. She has vocal nodes. She's naked in hunting wives. That's it.

SPEAKER_35

But it got sewn together to a mouth. Who did that's what he got?

SPEAKER_31

You were shampoo. But yeah, it's a good show. You should watch it. I haven't finished it. Oh, we haven't finished it.

SPEAKER_37

We need to watch Ed Gingham.

SPEAKER_30

I know. I can't believe we haven't watched it yet. It's difficult. I know. It's on me.

SPEAKER_35

Don't. It's awful. Don't say it.

SPEAKER_30

Don't say that. She loves Charlie Huntham. Charlie Hunnam is my oh. You will never get ruined by him.

SPEAKER_35

You will never want to see anything he does again.

SPEAKER_30

Also. But he does take his shirt off. Well, Ed Gean is fucks people the most fascinating serial killer. Serial killers. If I had a favorite, which sounds so fucking weird, Ed Geane is like, he's the number one most fascinating serial killer.

SPEAKER_37

If I come up missing.

SPEAKER_30

So when it was announced that Charlie Hunnam was going to be playing him, I was so excited and upset in equal measure. Because I was like, no, no, I don't, no, no. I don't want to see Charlie as Ed. That's not that's not okay.

SPEAKER_07

He talks real weird.

SPEAKER_35

I know.

SPEAKER_30

I know.

SPEAKER_35

They went for just utter disgusting. Rather than rather than use your imagination.

SPEAKER_30

No fade to black. I so I had heard that.

Commercial Notes And One‑Line Audition Pain

SPEAKER_35

There was a They showed him shocking all. Doing dead bodies. He was in women's lingerie jerking off like three times, four times. Um while being strangled. So yeah, they they went.

SPEAKER_41

All of it, okay.

SPEAKER_35

So if you watch American Horror, I think the same people that made that made American Horror Story when they so the last several seasons. And I didn't watch American Horror Story. Quit watching it too. First first couple seasons. Yeah, the first thing were good, interesting, and they just went just got weird. Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Got it. When they did uh the Jeffrey Dahmer monster, I do not often have to like take a minute. And when it comes to like a true crime type murder mystery, any of that, I usually don't have to take a break. Like I can binge all of the awfulness. But when we were watching that one after uh I don't know, three or four episodes, I was like, um, I need a break. Like the next one? I need a whole yeah, I need a whole minute. You watch My Little Ponies? Something, probably. I probably watched Dateline.

SPEAKER_35

That was that with the Ed Gean thing. I don't think there wasn't any video of him. That's one thing that I think everything they did was creative.

SPEAKER_30

So it was That was one thing that um there's a podcaster who did like a whole video series on TikTok about the background and how it didn't did not come through in the show. Um and she was pointing out that when Ed Geen was doing all of his stuff, there wasn't there wasn't record. There wasn't, you know, it was all like his claims or what they could kind of push put together, you know, after the fact, but they didn't have anything to like really base it on. They didn't have real many real interviews to like get his side of it, and so a lot of it was hearsay, and that's why they had to like really dramatize and like but he did have a lampshade with a nipple on it. Uh he had a belt made of nipples, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_35

They won't they also had a necklace of ears. They went overboard. Did they? Yeah, dang it. Like he he did a I I understand what he was doing character-wise. Like I see, you know what I mean? He's like, you know, based off research, this is what I've you know thought. And great. You leaned into that on hello mother. You know, I mean, like it's like he leaned into all of that. That was fine, right?

SPEAKER_30

But I saw an interview that he gave, that uh Hunum gave, and he was talking about the voice and like how he came to that point. But then later in the interview, um I guess there's a there's a couple times where he breaks the fourth wall in a way and says, like, you're watching this, or something basically speaking to the fact that like fucking weirdos like me and the uh obsession that society has with true crime and all of that kind of stuff is an odd, vicarious, uh morbid thing. Um and he went on to talk about that it's important for the public to know and understand these kind of people, but no one should be a fan. So for someone to call themselves a true crime fan, if they truly mean it as a fan of it, is really should be something that people really look at, as opposed to someone who is interested in wanting to understand the why and the how of things rather than ooh, that sounds kind of cool. Uh you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_46

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_30

He he spoke on that a lot and how his how Ed Gean's story, you know, uh inspired so many of our TV monsters. Um, yeah, you know, like all of like our psycho movies, Texas Chainsaw Message. Texas Chainsaw, all of those. What does that tell me about you? I'm not a fan.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah, you sad. You're the biggest fan ever.

SPEAKER_30

I said he's the most fascinating. Ew, uh he probably does have a double wiener. Well, I'm sure he he could have made one.

SPEAKER_35

She's too warm for him.

SPEAKER_31

Oh, that's true.

SPEAKER_37

But I want to be your lampshade.

SPEAKER_31

Put my nipple on the air.

SPEAKER_37

My my sap.

SPEAKER_30

Have you seen the new Frankenstein movie on Netflix?

SPEAKER_36

That one's actually good.

SPEAKER_30

It is that was really good. Beautiful. It's beautifully shot.

SPEAKER_35

I'm going back, I'm going back and watching uh Castle.

SPEAKER_30

The show? Hell yeah, that's a great show.

SPEAKER_35

I never watched it. Um I never watched it when it was out. Because shows like that before you start to like them.

SPEAKER_30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_35

And then they're like just when you they cancel everything every show that I like, they cancel it. So I just wait until they cancel it.

SPEAKER_30

And then watch it. And then I watch it. You already know it's gonna end.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

So we love it. That's one of my favorites. I just love Nathan Phillion. I think when the latest Frankenstein awesome.

SPEAKER_31

I think I started if I fell asleep like 10 minutes ago. Oh, it's I know it's a jiggle. Jickable lord. Yes.

SPEAKER_37

It's a lot of action that happens at the very beginning.

SPEAKER_31

I sleep there in action and I'm awake during boring. Yeah. Get used to it.

SPEAKER_35

We introduced my oldest son and his girlfriend to um son-in-law.

SPEAKER_40

Oh, poly shore? Nice. Yes.

SPEAKER_35

They watched Biodome last night. We used to do a difference. Indoctrinating the children. We sent him on the Polly Shore. Now it's a little bit of a that's the next one. In the army now. Oh, that's a good one. That is good. It's like this is his character. Yes, sir. This is what he plays.

SPEAKER_28

Every time. The weasel.

SPEAKER_37

We met him.

SPEAKER_30

We did. Pauly! We did.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah, he was here not too long ago. Two years ago at Brettown Comedy Club. Yeah. Got to go and meet him.

SPEAKER_30

Backstage. He was super cool. And just his comedy is just so great. And I mean, he's funny. I don't know. He was just a super cool dude.

Career Swerves, Raises, And Office Politics

SPEAKER_37

Yeah, he's it's not like going and seeing somebody that was on SNL, like Chris Catan. That was awful. That was awful. Saw him do stand-up and it wasn't great. But Polly, since his mom owned the uh comedy store in LA, Polly grew up in a stand-up world. So he was actually a stand-up comic. And uh he was good. So seems like his delivery would be pretty solid.

SPEAKER_30

He's got and and he did a little bit of his he like acknowledged that, like, okay, you want to hear, I know you want to hear all of the things, and so I'm gonna do it, but like that's not what I'm here for. And which was really cool.

SPEAKER_36

Yeah, he was good.

SPEAKER_30

Molly's current obsession is uh Bob's burgers.

SPEAKER_31

I love Bob's burgers. We watch it every day after school.

SPEAKER_30

Is she Tina?

SPEAKER_31

She likes Louise, yeah.

SPEAKER_30

She does.

SPEAKER_31

She likes Linda.

SPEAKER_30

She is Louise.

SPEAKER_31

Bob's Burgers. I we watch it every day after school.

SPEAKER_30

Bob's Burgers got me through quarantine lockdown. I tell you what, I became completely obsessed with that show. I watched it nonstop. It's such a good show. It is so funny.

SPEAKER_35

I never quarantined.

SPEAKER_30

So you didn't quarantine? Were you in a center? You're a rebel? He was essential.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah, me too, but we sold parts to the government at the so we were for defense stuff, so we were considered.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, yeah. No, I think COVID and butt health. I sat in this room on the futon and watched a shit ton of Bob's burgers and crafted. Yeah, before it was this office.

SPEAKER_37

This is a sex dungeon.

SPEAKER_30

I was gonna say, are y'all effed in here?

SPEAKER_37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_31

I'm out.

SPEAKER_30

No, I don't think not. 43 times.

SPEAKER_35

The camera was mounted. That's where that box was.

SPEAKER_28

Ew.

SPEAKER_37

This was their favorite spot.

SPEAKER_28

Keep it warm.

SPEAKER_37

Safe work with Snickerdoodle. His safe work? I hate it here.

SPEAKER_20

I hate it here.

SPEAKER_37

What are the kids into now? What are what are we looking at for like uh Christmas time?

SPEAKER_31

Uh Sawyer's 11, so he likes nothing.

SPEAKER_30

When Sawyer was eight, he liked nothing. When Sawyer was three, he liked nothing. That's true.

SPEAKER_31

He likes Roblox.

SPEAKER_30

Roblox? Okay.

SPEAKER_31

That's it.

SPEAKER_30

Alright. Basketball?

SPEAKER_31

I mean, he likes basketball. Yeah. But he's not like diehard. Like.

SPEAKER_30

Does he still like to read? I have to force him.

unknown

Damn it.

SPEAKER_31

I have to make him do it.

SPEAKER_35

It's changed.

SPEAKER_31

Molly likes to read, though. Molly's into K-pop demon hunter.

SPEAKER_35

She's gotta get him the the cat the cat in the head? No, the stuff that he can read just for the articles.

SPEAKER_13

Oh yeah. Playboy. They're right there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_37

You know, some vintage ones right there. Yeah. No. Got the one. He's my baby! With the 70s bush right down here. You gotta break him in right. Um I don't like that. Wow.

SPEAKER_31

Molly also likes La Boo-Boo.

SPEAKER_37

Kind of looks like it.

SPEAKER_31

So much La Boo Boo.

SPEAKER_37

La Boo Boo.

SPEAKER_31

Shaq La Babes, K-pop. Bob's Burgers. Bob's Burgers, K-pop Demon Hunter.

SPEAKER_37

And she's gonna be a big thing.

SPEAKER_31

No, she said she's um over Hello Kitty. Okay. She's over pink. She's over Unicorns. She likes Tiffany Blue, the color.

SPEAKER_30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_31

She doesn't like butterflies, flowers.

SPEAKER_30

So she's out of her girly girly face. She likes for now.

SPEAKER_31

Light Tiffany blue. Okay. K-pop demon hunter. Cats.

SPEAKER_35

She came home watching Ozzie Osborne putting her head up.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah, she's not, she doesn't like girl. But she wants to like put on makeup.

SPEAKER_30

So she's a pretty golf. Got it. I'm good with that. She wants to be like she likes matching outfits, like coordinating sets. A blue shirt and blue pants. Perfect.

SPEAKER_37

What's her name in uh Tina Belcher?

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_37

Resident Evil. Oh. What's her name? That was uh dances like Tina. Was in fifth element? Yeah. Can't remember.

SPEAKER_30

Lila Marie Mila Jovovich.

SPEAKER_37

That's who she is.

SPEAKER_30

Mila?

SPEAKER_31

Javovovich.

SPEAKER_30

Vaginach.

SPEAKER_31

She's pretty. Vagina dick.

SPEAKER_37

She was killing zombies in Resident Evil.

SPEAKER_35

Nothing hotter than a beautiful woman with a gun that's not pointed at you.

SPEAKER_37

I'm about to bust right now thinking of it.

SPEAKER_31

Mila? Yeah.

SPEAKER_37

I'm gonna move to the side. He's gonna handcock.

SPEAKER_27

Hancock!

SPEAKER_30

I got two, so I gotta sprint it. You're in the line of fire. Hey, you can't use your left hand like that right now. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_31

I don't like it.

SPEAKER_37

You might be able to.

SPEAKER_30

No.

SPEAKER_31

I'm ready for Stranger Things.

SPEAKER_37

Me?

SPEAKER_30

Oh, I can't wait. Very ready.

SPEAKER_31

This week?

SPEAKER_30

Isn't that? Yes. Yeah. Right before Thanksgiving? Yeah. Twenty-sixth, I think. Before Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_37

And they're supposed to be long episodes, too. So we'll see. The kids are like 68 by now.

SPEAKER_31

Right. Oh, I know. They're older than we are.

SPEAKER_35

I almost got in one of the last season's episodes.

SPEAKER_31

That one a veil for fucking cow bam.

SPEAKER_28

Almost.

SPEAKER_35

I was on a veil. I was on a veil for you.

unknown

Damn it.

SPEAKER_31

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_35

It means it's down to like they're looking at you and like one of those.

SPEAKER_30

It's not a no, but it's not a yes.

SPEAKER_31

But it's a maybe.

SPEAKER_30

Like a heavy maybe. Yeah.

SPEAKER_31

What would you have done, do you know?

SPEAKER_35

Was the the Hilo sniper in the big epia?

SPEAKER_31

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_16

Damn it.

SPEAKER_35

I know I wanted that one so bad. You try to get like not get real excited, but it's like your agent calls and they're like, hey, and you're like, I know.

SPEAKER_37

I had a I got an audition for um a series irregular for Landman.

SPEAKER_46

Landman?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_35

That shows that show's fun.

SPEAKER_37

And man. Is that Billy Bob? That was it's so here's the other frustrating part about the business. The business. Is you think and you hope that you're thinking correctly that damn, I just nailed that fucking audition. And I know the right part's gonna find you, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff to make you feel good. Um but damn, I thought I did a great job in that audition.

Massage Talk: Techniques, Tools, And Music

SPEAKER_35

I was like, Well, the thing you it was a great job. Sometimes the best it doesn't matter. Like it does I mean you could look too much like the director's ex-husband. You mean so there's so many there's so many things. It could have been a boyfriend that spurned her in college, or you you just whatever you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_30

Some hair completely out of completely nothing to do with the audition itself. 100%. Well, and there was another audition you did uh not too long ago that was super emotional.

SPEAKER_36

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Oh my god. The absolute best audition I've ever seen him do. It was South of Stillwater, I think. So moving. Like, ooh, it was so good.

SPEAKER_37

That was a good one. That was a good one. And you know, when you when you go so long between the bookings, you can't help but just start doubting a little bit. You know, and whatever. The way it goes. So I've I've kind of kind of dipped more into writing the last couple of months and and uh and I know I think I shared it to you, but I wrote my first faith-based short.

SPEAKER_31

Faith-based?

SPEAKER_37

Jesus is really good.

SPEAKER_31

Christ of Latter day?

SPEAKER_37

Yeah. Yeah. It's about a Mormon. No. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_30

But it's uh Lutheran in the school.

SPEAKER_28

I didn't know you even knew Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_35

It's it's not the Book of Mormon, it's the article of Mormon. It's a article. It's a abridged version.

SPEAKER_30

It's a pamphlet. It's a spark notes. Did you watch Cliffes uh Cliff's notes?

SPEAKER_31

Cliff Notes of the Bible. Did you watch uh I don't I can't think of anything today because I'm stupid and I stole, so I'm like I'm She's on the run. Flabbergaster.

SPEAKER_30

We're at you're what?

SPEAKER_35

We are the fated. No, I said we're at. Oh. So they could find you. Do that. That would be the one thing the show missing is missing. You being carried off and handcuffed. That'd be fun.

SPEAKER_31

That actually is true. We are kind of missing. It's amazing. We've got this long.

SPEAKER_35

I know a captain from KCPD.

SPEAKER_31

You do!

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. I know a Norman PD. I know a Norman PD.

SPEAKER_31

Oh no. Oh no. And the two girls go to uh his house and they're um Mormon. Is that who goes to your house as Mormons?

SPEAKER_30

Yeah. Well, Norman's and uh Jehovah's Witnesses.

SPEAKER_37

Oh, maybe it's you know, like Amazon drivers, uh family come to your house.

SPEAKER_30

Not Jackman.

SPEAKER_35

I think I sent it to you where you can schedule. You Lori?

SPEAKER_30

Who's you Lori?

SPEAKER_35

Uh house. Like you can send the Jehovah's Witnesses to somebody.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, yeah, we definitely did that. You did that?

SPEAKER_35

Definitely signed some people up.

SPEAKER_30

We sure did.

unknown

You did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_35

I found this and I sent it to him. I was like, look at it.

SPEAKER_05

Immediate. I went, oh, I already know.

SPEAKER_30

God, that'd be funny. No, because Nita would pull out again.

SPEAKER_37

That would be funny.

SPEAKER_35

So what we can do is where they come to the door and it's like, if you can beat me in a basketball game, we'll listen to your bitch. See Bomb playing basketball.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah, I'd fall in. More than no, uh it was just on HBO, but the two girls go to his house to show him the power of Christ or whatever. And then it ends up, he locks him in the house. It's called like weird name, like can't remember what the name of Reverence or something. It's not reverence. Have we not watched anything? I feel like we've been out of the list. It's not Hugh Jackman, but I can't think of his name. Hugh Grant?

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. Hugh Grant. Hugh Grant.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah, that's but he plays a creepy man. Oh. And the two girls go to like locks him in a basement. Locks him in. It becomes a whole. Ooh. It's good. There's a movie. Hereditary? No. It's something like that.

SPEAKER_35

No, that one's tricky. It's something like that. It's like one word.

SPEAKER_31

You know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_35

I don't know that one. No. Oh.

SPEAKER_29

Heteric. It's heteric. Heretic? Heretic.

SPEAKER_35

Hereditary.

SPEAKER_29

What does that say? Heteric. What's heteric mean?

SPEAKER_35

You need to watch Hereditary.

SPEAKER_29

You haven't seen Hereditary either? Let's be she hasn't. Let's remind you. She just now started watching kind of scary. I haven't seen it. Hereditary came out like three years ago.

SPEAKER_37

She doesn't watch scary movies. She just now started like No, we haven't watched that. Well, you watch, she reads it. She loves murder, but hates scary movies. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_35

You know what? Heredity came out that I was really disappointed in so far. Welcome to Dairy.

SPEAKER_30

Don't talk. No, no, no, no. I have firm, deep set beliefs about why Welcome to Dairy is spectacular. I will die on that hill. I will fight somebody, punch you right in the back. Have you watched it?

SPEAKER_35

I will allow you to die on that hill because it's not good.

SPEAKER_30

Stephen King is one of my very I can watch any Stephen King.

SPEAKER_35

It's not good.

SPEAKER_30

It's exactly what it is.

SPEAKER_35

No.

SPEAKER_30

She's mad. Ryan.

SPEAKER_35

It's not the first person that's been mad at me, this is the one. Ryan.

SPEAKER_30

What do you mean? What do you mean it's bad? What's bad about it? Tell me.

SPEAKER_31

It's a little too over the top.

SPEAKER_35

The fact that you get to the fifth episode before you even see the clown.

Cult Docs, Nexium, And “Allegedly”

SPEAKER_30

The clown is only one. One iteration. It's one iteration of it. Pennywise is just one of all of what it can be. So everything you've seen up to that point is it. All of it. The baby coming out of the giant. All of all of those things scared me. The weird crawley guy in the drawer. Yes, the pickle guy, the weird uh man in the woods.

SPEAKER_37

Uh that whole first scene of the first episode.

SPEAKER_30

Were you like this? Yeah. That's how I was. Kind of the whole time. We were both like, what the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?

SPEAKER_35

I've been sitting on the couch. I've been sitting on the couch going, this is not good. Oh, it's so good. Like to the point like I may not finish it.

SPEAKER_30

That is a poor choice that you'll make.

SPEAKER_37

I was like, first part is like the terrifier in like how graphic and quasi. To me, like pushing boundaries a little bit. At least without it being like a NC17 or you know, like some super rated R whatever. I did not expect what happened in the to happen. And I was like, oh my god, this is terrifier level.

SPEAKER_30

And there's so much in Stephen King's universe that is it. The evil that that bleeds into all of his stories can be tied back to the root of evil, which is it. It is evil. So like uh the evil that uh what are you doing?

SPEAKER_37

I was just trying to find a cool soundbite.

SPEAKER_30

Okay. Like too. No, but like the the evil that possesses in Pet Cemetery, the evil that possesses in Tujo, the evil that uh Pennywise creates well, it's it. Oh the evil that creates the like witch in the uh or the witch's like spell in thinner is it. The evil that is uh part of Whatterfuck's face in um what's the the one where she breaks his ankles?

SPEAKER_35

Oh misery.

SPEAKER_30

Misery in um oh, what's the other one that's someone's game? No, there's a some I can't remember, it's it's a name and then game. The evil game that fuels all of the hate and the ick. That's it. And that's why Stephen King's whole universe is wrong.

SPEAKER_37

The Olympic Games.

SPEAKER_30

Because evil, it is in everything special Olympic games, and that's why it's spectacular.

SPEAKER_35

It's just a shitty show.

SPEAKER_28

It's not a shitty show. No, don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong.

SPEAKER_30

I like still alive. I love Pennywise. Steven Kenny and I love yeah, and I really love uh Bill Skarsgard as Pennywise. Oh yeah. So of course, oh yeah, like I really just wanted another whole miniseries of just Bill Skarsgrd as a clown, like because I love that. But as a Stephen King fan, it's really spectacular. Georgie! Georgie! Got me back!

SPEAKER_28

Georgie! We are getting Pennywise.

SPEAKER_35

I think they were so far away from it's for the true fans.

SPEAKER_30

I'm sorry that you're not one. Fairweather Stephen King fan.

SPEAKER_31

Fairweather fan!

SPEAKER_35

I don't like Stephen King as a person, so I'm not gonna be a big one. Oh no, I don't like him as a person either. I just love his books. I love his stories.

SPEAKER_30

Why don't you like him as a person? He's a bad dude. Well, look what Stephen King wrote.

SPEAKER_37

Oh, Stephen King?

SPEAKER_30

Oh no, he's like a what? A touch?

SPEAKER_35

No.

SPEAKER_30

No, he's just uh not what he wrote. I just don't uh like he's a Democrat.

SPEAKER_31

What's wrong with him? I don't understand.

SPEAKER_37

I don't know. He's a Democrat.

SPEAKER_31

He's a lesbian.

SPEAKER_30

Is he a dick? Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, there's so many people that have been in his movies or his uh TV miniseries that almost quit because of him on set. Like he's he's like, I have a vision! Apparently just a really terrible dude.

SPEAKER_31

You must have two wieners to go forward.

Kool‑Aid, Flavor Aid, And Pandemic Work

SPEAKER_37

Did you do um sorry just did you do the 48-hour contest this past?

SPEAKER_35

I don't know. Just that's the way my brain is. Yeah. Did you? We get we missed the deadline by about five or six minutes.

SPEAKER_31

48 hours? Like a deadline.

SPEAKER_35

I I got I got an invite like the morning of Oh wow. They'd put the so they were doing uh Jordan did some really cool things with the like the meet and greets, right? They do in Oakland City and up in Tulsa. Um and she put like she had put together like a spreadsheet that um if you sent your information to her, she'd put on the spreadsheet and send it off to team leads of these are all people that are still looking for teams that do X, Y, and Z.

SPEAKER_30

Oh nice.

SPEAKER_35

And and I got I I got a call off of that and met some great people, had a great time. Um, not not that 48 hours.

SPEAKER_30

You said 48 hours. Yeah, it's 40 hour 48-hour film festival.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah, film race.

SPEAKER_30

Film race?

SPEAKER_35

They have so you get at like seven o'clock on a Friday evening, everybody gets the same line of dialogue, uh, male and female version of a character name, um, a prop, and then they draw a genre, and you have 48 hours to write it, shoot it, edit, score, and finish it and get it turned in. It's fun.

SPEAKER_37

Like I did one two years ago. I did one two years ago.

SPEAKER_35

If you get with the right people, it's a blast. Yeah. Because it's exhausting, but it's so much fun.

SPEAKER_31

What was the movie?

SPEAKER_35

Um what was the name of it?

SPEAKER_31

Or the short or whatever.

SPEAKER_35

I don't remember what the name was off the top of my head.

SPEAKER_30

Bootilicious? Yes. Two winos. Two wina bootilicious.

SPEAKER_35

It was not that. It was not. It was not. We got I think we did, we drew like superhero, I think, for the genre. Um god. So it was, but it was I the name leaves me right now, but it was it was a lot of fun. I I mean where did you film it? Uh in Oklahoma City. We did.

SPEAKER_31

I didn't see you. I was around. I was around OKC. You're right. Metro.

SPEAKER_35

Don't talk about yourself like that.

SPEAKER_31

Um I didn't say I get around. I said I was around. Maybe I'm pimping it. I was around. I was around.

SPEAKER_05

I was team using it.

SPEAKER_37

It's too much cozy. I did it the one year. It was pretty fun. Probably. Um I didn't get an invite this past one. Whoa, some of us stop pouting. Maybe I just maybe you piss someone off. Start a team. Yeah.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah. You should. Team dangling.

SPEAKER_37

And yeah.

SPEAKER_31

Team dangling.

SPEAKER_37

Team danglang.

SPEAKER_31

Dangleang. Team dangling. What's your movie? You should put Silas.

SPEAKER_37

But you can't because genre, right? So that that can change your story a little bit.

SPEAKER_32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_37

But I think you could probably have maybe a few ideas that may fit a couple of different genres just in case you draw one. But I don't know.

SPEAKER_35

Um, because you don't know prop. Yeah. Or a certain line of dialogue dialogue.

SPEAKER_31

Genre is blah blah, and then they give you blah blah.

SPEAKER_35

So well, so you'll you'll go in and they'll be like, all right, so the post-ang. Every team dangling. Every team has got to have this line of dialogue. And it can't be a variation of that line. It has to be that exact line, or you're disqualified. And then there's a it could be like, you know, Joe Blow and Josephine Blow or whatever the character names. And then, you know, the prop could be like a tire iron or corn. Well, we know right.

SPEAKER_30

And wasn't it like isn't it also like um theory that you were in the prop was a ticket?

SPEAKER_36

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

The and the person was a an influencer, right? Like wasn't it a it was like a very specific and then they had their name, and then I don't remember what the line was, but um so you can take creative liberties like that.

OnlyFans Jokes And Sucker Reveal

SPEAKER_35

Liberties with with because ticket could be a speeding ticket, it could be a ticket to get into a sporting event or a movie. It could be a Titanic. Yeah, raffle ticket. I mean there's you know Yeah. The golden ticket in Willie Wonk. Like you like and you know, influencer, social media influencer, you know, yeah. I mean, there's you know, several different ways that can go.

SPEAKER_30

So every team has all of that the same, yeah, but then every team gets a different genre. And so they have to incorporate all of those things into their genre and film and all of that in 24 hours.

SPEAKER_35

So when they draw, when they draw, like it's you get two different genres and you get to pick one.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, that's cool. I didn't know.

SPEAKER_35

So it's like musical and action. So you have to what if we want to combine them?

SPEAKER_05

Musical, superhero musical.

SPEAKER_30

Bam!

SPEAKER_37

I kind of want to think about it. I'd like to that'd be really fun. Yeah, I'd like to get some some friends. We don't. We just make it not sleep and do it. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah, we can sleep when we're dead.

SPEAKER_31

I love sleeping.

unknown

I do.

SPEAKER_31

I do sleep a lot.

SPEAKER_35

I do not sleep. Boring.

SPEAKER_37

Boring. Well, any other uh finished projects you've done that Batman releasing soon or no, no, not off top of my head.

SPEAKER_31

Well, I got one coming out. It's called Massage Parler.

SPEAKER_37

Oh my god. I knew it! I knew that's what you did.

SPEAKER_35

I knew there was gonna be a that's a short film.

SPEAKER_31

Sexual innuendo.

SPEAKER_35

That's a very short film.

SPEAKER_31

Short film.

SPEAKER_27

It's because she's using mice.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_27

It's a mini-series.

SPEAKER_31

It's a mini series. Mini. Oh, but have y'all gotten massage in a while?

SPEAKER_30

Um, we have a massage chair. Oh yeah, y'all.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah. Yeah, we got one of the badass ones.

SPEAKER_30

Uh I got a massage over the summer from uh one of my coworkers. His wife is a massage therapist. That was magic. Magic. She was great.

SPEAKER_37

So we go to a little uh pedicure, manicure spot that uh one dot nail.

SPEAKER_30

Happy ending.

SPEAKER_37

Well, I mean, I'm happy at the end of it for sure, but maybe not in that way.

SPEAKER_31

I didn't get a happy ending.

SPEAKER_35

You don't need a cream or a pill when you leave. A cream or a pillament topical ointment. Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

A salve. Sow.

SPEAKER_35

I don't have to go to the health department and pick a potato. There's there's not a medication commercial on TV for what you have.

SPEAKER_31

No, wink, wink. They just haven't discovered it yet. To me to get naked and get rubbed by a complete stranger, but the like interaction right before the massage is so awkward. Yes.

SPEAKER_37

So you can be naked and they can touch you in your face.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah, I'm fine. But when they're like, we're fully clothed and they're like, okay, so you have a one-hour massage. What kind of pressure do you want? And I'm like, Whatever you want, I don't care.

SPEAKER_35

Tell them get a jackhammer. Like when you think it's deep enough, it's not. Jump from the back.

SPEAKER_31

Do you have any points that are um hurting? Are there any areas? Have you had any surgeries? Um, is there and it's just like you just like rub my back? I'm just here for a back scratch.

SPEAKER_37

I'm gonna and I'm gonna leave. And so you just undressed at her level, you're comfortable. Oh, right now you're being oh what I was gonna step out.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. You're gonna see it anyway.

SPEAKER_31

For some reason, that part's more awkward than the yeah, the talking to people.

SPEAKER_35

So it's the peopling when you actually have to look at people and interact with them that's a problem.

SPEAKER_40

Media pressure. Can I get undressed now?

SPEAKER_37

My buttle sweat. Got anything for that?

SPEAKER_31

And then when you have to roll over and you don't want them to see your tits, you're like, shame.

SPEAKER_37

But they say your buttle.

SPEAKER_29

Sounds like a big nip.

SPEAKER_35

It's a trade-off. You got a powder for that? You know those the tie massage where they walk on you?

SPEAKER_31

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_35

Okay, so I was like, Oh, yeah, where they like I was in Houston one time and I was like, all right, well, I got they do four hand for that. Yeah, let me get that. Four hand?

SPEAKER_30

Yeah. Like two people?

SPEAKER_35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Two people?

SPEAKER_35

Well, and normally they're they weighed 80 pounds and they're four foot eleven. They were not. They were not.

SPEAKER_27

You got four baffy hands. We got smell like sauce. Darla is Brenda.

SPEAKER_35

She was like 160, 170 pounds, and she's just walking on my upper back, and I'm like, Walking?

SPEAKER_31

Were they holding on the bar?

The TikTok Gauntlet Begins

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_31

I've never done that one.

SPEAKER_35

You got one walking on your calves and one's walking on the deadlifting. Right.

SPEAKER_43

I was like, I can take this. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_35

But you're already in, so it's like, all right, as long as the ribs don't crack, we're gonna keep it a I'm a man, I can do that.

SPEAKER_37

We gotta I felt one. We we got a couple to massage out of place. And too far.

SPEAKER_35

No, I felt nobody came and stole him out of the room. That's how you know. Obviously.

SPEAKER_37

I could tell she put her foot up on the wall. Like for leverage. Like, dig in, and I was just nah. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_35

That's that's no, it's great. Like, I there was uh the one of the best massage therapists that I that I ever have ever gone to was a female bodybuilder. Whoa, and she, when she got in, she leveraged against the wall and she dug her elbow in, and it was fucking Brian. Yep. So I was elbow deep and uh she was elbow deep.

SPEAKER_37

It was hell good, dude. It was awesome. I can't do the deep tissue stuff. I like it for I I just want to lay down. I'm gonna go like, can you just draw on my back and let me guess what you draw?

SPEAKER_31

Just tickle my back.

SPEAKER_30

Tickle my back.

SPEAKER_37

Just tickle my back.

SPEAKER_30

Uh-huh. I want to hear the popping of the knots.

SPEAKER_35

Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

If there's no crunching, it's no crunching, you're not doing anything.

SPEAKER_35

Have you ever, I think I I'm gonna mispronounce it, but like guashaw, where they actually have like the um like the metal and ivory like blade that they call it. Oh, I have a jade, I have a jade one, yeah. That you they break up and you end up looking, I mean it breezes right. Yeah, because it draws all the it's like cupping, but you're but you're digging into them. Those are amazing, especially like right up because they everybody misses. They'll start to hit that knot on the top of the traps and then they just never go into it. You don't want to hurt you or something.

SPEAKER_09

But don't clear it.

SPEAKER_14

I know, hurt me.

SPEAKER_09

Hard fucking core. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_31

The other thing I thought of was they listened to so much like, oh, she had it on like uh Native American flute, and I was like, ooh, I like this. Like I felt like I was like, ooh. But they listen to that all day, right? Do you think they get in their car?

SPEAKER_50

They're like, death metal or because they listen to it.

SPEAKER_31

Because I was thinking, oh my god, if I all day at work just listened to like Enya. Yeah, or like the Rocos. I'd want to listen to Megadeth. With the ball or something. Sorry, Kid Rockin's the hard rockin'.

SPEAKER_37

That's her baby middle kid rocking.

SPEAKER_40

I don't know, put on some Uncle Cracker, man, with rock and shit. It's a spin-dunky collective soul black brother. Black.

SPEAKER_30

No black hole.

SPEAKER_31

That's great. Rage is with you. And they're just like going home. But I'm going home listening to like all day. Not really, but I know it.

SPEAKER_35

She's found the places that she's trying to recruit you to, I guess. Yeah. It's gonna be another one of those cults where you're gonna get some.

SPEAKER_29

No, I'm just in management. So get a tattoo on the bird.

SPEAKER_37

This is my uh this is my cult leader.

SPEAKER_31

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_37

What was that uh Jared Leto?

SPEAKER_29

Jaredo, your name should be Shiloh.

SPEAKER_37

No, the guy we watched um Nexium. Yep. Nexium. Oh, yeah, but he had short hair. What was his name though? Rain Rainier. Yeah. Steve Rainier? Keith Rainier. Keith Rainier. Oh, okay. What's her name's out? The chick from Smallville? Oh. She was just on a podcast. She's starting one.

SPEAKER_19

What are you all watching?

SPEAKER_30

She was just on a podcast with uh it was a cult documentary. We got into a whole series of cult documentaries.

SPEAKER_19

Cult?

SPEAKER_35

Cult. So cult. No, no, no.

unknown

Cult.

SPEAKER_30

Maybe that's how it means. Like, hey, that comet. That's our ship home. Drink this juice. Kool-aid.

SPEAKER_35

Coolidge. You won't remember it then. Yeah, you won't remember.

SPEAKER_30

Everybody wear your sweatsuits.

SPEAKER_35

No, it was a thing that was um they were recruiting actors and the stuff out of the house. Oh no, 2000. Like, this is this is fairly moderately recent. Yeah, hell but she like legit just got out of jail.

SPEAKER_30

And it was like it was a business level cult as well. Like there was a whole lot of religion. Oh no, it was wild. Self-help. N-X-I-V-MXIM. Yeah. Oh, that was a weird one.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah, and they were they were like uh branding women with his initials like near their cooter. The next yeah, the Nexium thing was like that's what it kind of or whatever that was like. But he had his like J R in the logo. It was like on a vagina.

SPEAKER_30

On the vagina.

SPEAKER_35

Allegedly.

SPEAKER_30

Allegedly. No, that would burn on or who on.

SPEAKER_35

For legal purposes.

SPEAKER_30

Allegedly.

SPEAKER_37

Everything on this podcast is allegedly. Allegedly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Like our intelligence. I always wonder.

SPEAKER_31

I'm like, do you think I could I would like to become a follower like that?

SPEAKER_35

Yes. 100%.

SPEAKER_31

I think I'll be a leader.

SPEAKER_35

You would be not a first one to sign up.

SPEAKER_31

I wouldn't drink that Kool-In. I'd be a leader.

SPEAKER_35

It wouldn't be Kool-Aid, but um What would it be?

unknown

Pee.

SPEAKER_31

Wine in a Box. It's a wine in a box.

SPEAKER_27

It's a wine in a box. Where's R. Kelly?

SPEAKER_37

What are the other ones called? Other ones are called like beatbox or something?

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_37

Boda box. Everyone pick up a boda box and come in. We're gonna teach you how you can better yourself over a boat a box.

SPEAKER_31

Give us a thousand dollars a month. What if a cult?

SPEAKER_37

But I gotta see you naked. Oh first. I need to see you whispering eye.

SPEAKER_30

What if a cult used poor loco? Poor loco. The OG for loco.

SPEAKER_31

Oh, fuck that. You'll die.

SPEAKER_37

It's probably four locos.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, I saw uh there's a I don't know, there's a TikTok guy that I get his his weird newsletter every week because he's funny. And yeah. Uh but he was talking about, he had a whole one about um things that are actually brand names, but we just call them that. Like zipper is a brand name, and when now we call all of those, but um he went on this whole spiel about how uh drinking the Kool-Aid, uh, they actually had it was actually flavor aid that they poisoned. And so like Kool-Aid, I guess, went on this whole like marketing campaign about like they weren't drinking Kool-Aid, it was like a little bit on the Jim Jones thing.

SPEAKER_35

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_20

It was flavoring.

SPEAKER_27

It's flavoring, not even cherry.

SPEAKER_43

Are those red solo cups? It was best choice.

SPEAKER_20

It wasn't us.

SPEAKER_46

Oh, yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_31

The Kool-Aid man would never Do you have any drinks in that fridge?

SPEAKER_30

We do have drinks in this fridge. The cream rice. Uh, I've got some beers, maybe.

SPEAKER_35

I've got the man is not happy with things.

SPEAKER_30

Arnold, who's talking right now? I've got an Arnold Palmer, a spiked on Ernard Ernard Permer.

SPEAKER_31

I'll try it. Do you want one? I want one.

SPEAKER_35

No, I'm good.

SPEAKER_31

What are you doing? Water man? Come on.

SPEAKER_30

He's a healthy boy.

SPEAKER_35

I'm too pretty for jail.

SPEAKER_31

That's true.

SPEAKER_35

That would be a bad day.

SPEAKER_37

I'm just pretty enough.

SPEAKER_31

For jail? With the wig.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_31

I that was the scene.

SPEAKER_35

Well, I'm done.

SPEAKER_31

You went to prison? No, in Edging.

SPEAKER_37

I never made a name of Jim Pop. You three, I am ready for some outrage. Just videos.

SPEAKER_31

Casey needs a drink.

SPEAKER_30

Just pour that in there. It was a sound effect. Calm down.

SPEAKER_31

I don't like who you are with. That's our Thanksgiving drink.

SPEAKER_30

We do need a good Thanksgiving drink. You go do the Thanksgiving. I was telling our boy about that.

SPEAKER_31

I was like, she always has a Thanksgiving drink. That's fine.

SPEAKER_30

Yeah, I want to do a punch. Like a like a batch. Cocktail. So I'll do some researching. I'm sure I have some saved.

SPEAKER_37

Do they have one called the turkey snatch?

SPEAKER_28

Ooh, they have a turkey gibbler.

SPEAKER_37

Yeah, the gibbler.

SPEAKER_31

I mean gobbler. Turkey gobbler. Gibbler.

SPEAKER_37

Gibbler, gobbler.

SPEAKER_31

Gobble Gibble gobblble gobbler.

SPEAKER_37

Gabbler. Dibble dabble at it.

SPEAKER_31

Dibbler dabbler. Call 45. Did you get a raise? No, but we got evals in March. March! So I got it on my list.

SPEAKER_37

Good.

SPEAKER_31

Look what I did.

SPEAKER_37

Bitch!

SPEAKER_31

And I took on two new people, about to be three.

SPEAKER_37

So you and a whole new unit. What's that bring your staff level up to? Really?

SPEAKER_30

Well, you should absolutely be getting raids. Nine just for supervision.

SPEAKER_31

Nine people. Nine people that all complain about diarrhea. Live that life.

SPEAKER_37

And you have to do their evaluations. Oh, those uh that sucks.

SPEAKER_31

And I'm like, remember?

SPEAKER_37

Remember the diarrhea you had?

SPEAKER_31

Remember when you looked at me wrong? Six days in a row? You suck. That's the kind of manager I am.

SPEAKER_30

Shit. Uh the reason that uh they won't let me and Kelly evaluate Kelly is because they would have to pay us more. That's right. Found that out. I'll be shocked if I get well, I got a raise in July, but I wouldn't I would be baffled just on your amount of supervision now if you didn't get a raise.

SPEAKER_37

But you know, they'll if they can not give a raise and keep people working their own.

SPEAKER_31

So I can literally not do shit for 12 months because I can't get a promotion back to back. And they're like, Well, when you say it like that.

SPEAKER_37

Well, yeah, okay. That's what you're telling me.

SPEAKER_31

Literally, I cannot get a promotion back to back in 12 months. So for a year I can fuck off because I'm not, I'm guaranteed no promotion.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_37

So in 13 months, you'll see my performance go back up. Right.

SPEAKER_31

Until then, poop and all day.

SPEAKER_37

Well, that's kind of like how you know I've heard people say that they really don't do any work at work unless it's a payday week.

SPEAKER_31

Like I work all the time.

SPEAKER_37

I know, you shouldn't. Only really work when it's a day.

SPEAKER_31

The day before you get paid.

SPEAKER_37

On that on that week, yeah. The whole week?

SPEAKER_30

The whole week or three days. Oh yeah. I get paid on Wednesday. I was gonna say, what if you get paid on like a Wednesday? Yeah, I get paid on Wednesday, me. Do you just work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday?

SPEAKER_37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Okay. Oh, okay. That's good enough.

SPEAKER_37

Well, they need to change a day. If they want more work out of you, make it a Friday.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_37

That way you're Monday through Friday, you're working that way.

SPEAKER_31

What's what I gotta go five days a week. Here's what bothers me.

SPEAKER_37

So during like the COVID lockdown bullshit, so many companies, yeah, so many companies invested in their technology to allow work from home, right? They even got funds from the COVID funds to do that.

SPEAKER_31

Camera.

SPEAKER_37

And now you make us all go back in, like you're wasting all that money.

SPEAKER_31

Where'd all that money go? Why do I gotta why do I got a cam if I don't need one for FaceTiming or Zooming?

SPEAKER_37

So they can watch you.

SPEAKER_30

You came in exactly where you came out. Maybe you could get some Sooner fans. Like I feel like that would be a lucrative OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_31

Sooner fans?

SPEAKER_37

I'm starting one.

SPEAKER_31

Sooner Nation.

SPEAKER_37

Starting OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_31

With that hair.

SPEAKER_37

It's just gonna be walking barefoot on various you know, peanut butter. Meet ASMR. Put your toes in there.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, oh no.

SPEAKER_37

Alright, who's ready for it? Like the mukbang? That sounds already on them. You're on there? No. Oh. If y'all are ready, I got some. Oh witch shit.

SPEAKER_25

Let's go full throttle.

SPEAKER_30

Full throttle. Full throttle.

SPEAKER_55

Daddy's my pants.

SPEAKER_30

I'm just super daddy now. Shit. Shit. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_31

Oh lord.

SPEAKER_32

It's on a troll hat? You don't know.

SPEAKER_33

Uh no.

SPEAKER_32

Whoa. How did you do that? It's a thing that we call magic.

SPEAKER_33

Oh, magic. So you're like a high elf or something?

SPEAKER_32

I'm the best hypnotist in the world.

SPEAKER_33

Oh. Can you hypnotize my anxiety away?

SPEAKER_32

I most certainly can. How old are you?

SPEAKER_33

How old do you think I am? 28. Yep. I don't know how you did that, but yeah, it was pretty good.

SPEAKER_32

Perfect.

SPEAKER_40

I'm Mystic Dickie!

SPEAKER_33

Alright, Mystic Dickie. Alright. Yeah, that was pretty cool. Not like the part, but like the magic part of it. Have you ever been hypnoty? No.

SPEAKER_32

We're getting ready to get you hypnotized, but I think we should try maybe one more trick.

SPEAKER_33

Okay. Alright.

SPEAKER_32

Tell me when to stop.

SPEAKER_33

Stop.

SPEAKER_32

Remember this card.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_33

You got your card. Yeah, I have it. Is it a good card? It's an okay card, I guess. You could have selected any.

SPEAKER_32

Yeah. I'm gonna try and read your mind. Think of your card. Think of the number or the letter.

SPEAKER_33

Well, it's words.

SPEAKER_32

Word? Yeah, it's two.

SPEAKER_33

It's two words.

SPEAKER_32

You're making it a little bit more difficult for me this time. Shit! Well, how about this? I've got five numbers here. One through five. Pick one of them.

SPEAKER_33

Okay, let's go with three.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_32

The card you selected is on the back of here.

SPEAKER_33

It is.

SPEAKER_32

If you selected any of the other ones, it wouldn't have been your card. Oh.

SPEAKER_33

Oh.

SPEAKER_32

What? For some reason, I think I have to hypnotize you.

SPEAKER_53

Congratulations.

SPEAKER_32

You have passed the test.

SPEAKER_53

Hypnosis is real. And you're ready to get hypnotized by the amazing Mystic Dickie.

SPEAKER_32

Well, let's do this, my friend. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in for me. Okay, okay. And exhale. Relaxing your anal. Take another deep breath in.

SPEAKER_16

And exhale out the anal. Yes.

SPEAKER_32

By the end of this hypnosis, we're going to forget that you are gay.

SPEAKER_33

But I wasn't.

SPEAKER_32

But I wasn't. When I snap my fingers, you will wake up and forget that you're a gay.

SPEAKER_33

But but I was I wasn't gay ever. Well then let's prove that.

SPEAKER_32

I've got a card in my pocket. What card is it?

SPEAKER_33

It's the you're not gay card.

SPEAKER_32

But we can fix that. The card or you give her a kiss. Oh. Oh. Okay.

SPEAKER_40

That's live just tonight. Is that where you got your wig? Yeah.

SPEAKER_31

Nice.

Music Parodies, Cringe Crooners, Cybertruck Song

SPEAKER_51

Been straight blasting people for 35 years, from grandmasters to masters to professional boxers to MMA guys, everybody you could think of, and none of them survived the blast. It's not because I'm some ultimate dude, it's because of the blast. Midair, it looks like it's helped your high school on this video. You think he graduated? And you're going to see that it's finished. That's fine. Ultimate. Okay. So what the blast is here. I'm occupying what we call center line. Which is right here. My hands. Here's Capso skinny. Like a say like a chest. But you see how they're going over top of each other, and I'm occupying center. So if this person wants to hit me, they have to go around or they're going to run into my hands. Okay? Clearly. This is the motion. Right here. Okay? Okay. I back up and I'm going to show you right here. So the other thing we want to do is sprint. Okay? Not the name and the phone button. Get rid of five minutes. I'm going to be right here. I'm going to sprint and punch like this. Now I'm going to do like four or five punches. Say five max and I'm going to shut down. Okay? We don't want straight back. Sprinting goat? You can't keep going. Possible. Okay? So we're just going to blast four or five and shut down. You'll feel your emotional peak getting to a certain spot. We don't want to go over that peak. Okay. Okay? So now we won't be hitting this guy, not hurting him. Okay? And that's when we kick into another range. Never go over. So right here with that said, I'm gonna go slow so I don't lose my mic here. But here's where we're being. God dog it.

SPEAKER_35

You got blessed.

SPEAKER_08

Who call me inspirational for having a disability? And I have to agree, it's a lot of work. I wake up every day filled with determination to get Pedro Pascal and Oscar Isaac to Eiffel Tower me. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_22

Come forth.

SPEAKER_30

Oh no. Seeing if my knuckles are that's funny.

SPEAKER_08

Oh if you cracked a disabled person, I just wanted to say thank you for your contribution to our community. And as a reminder, I may have cerebral palsy, but my primary diagnosis has always been freak. I may have brain damage, but my head game is still top tier. Without fail on every single one of my videos, I have at least one person commenting. Oh, I eat my vegetables. I eat my vegetables. Baby, you think I care that you eat your vegetables? What I really want to know is do you finish them?

SPEAKER_11

Okay.

SPEAKER_19

Oh, hi everyone. This is Todd Davis. I said I'd come back live Saturday, November 15th, after Notre Dame 1. See that light that's on right back there? Back there. That light in that room? That that room I had lit up for me by the Hampton and Nice people because in that very spot was the last time I ever made love to a woman. When this video is uploaded, it'll be exactly one year ago to the time exactly. 1130. Woman was Rebecca Lynn White. Okay. Full government name.

SPEAKER_46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_19

And the words of Walt Disney are Lot's wife. What? Well, what happened when Lot's wife looked back? She became a pillar of salt. What happened? What happens with Walt Disney's motto? You keep moving forward. So I'm gonna show you all how to move past anything in life.

SPEAKER_37

Okay.

SPEAKER_19

I'm gonna show you all how to create an illusion and a trick in itself. It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be entertaining. It's gonna be exciting. And uh I don't think I know what that means. I think it's gonna be illegal. You silly people. So silly people We're going to expose this. It's going to be fun. In about two weeks. Oh. I'm gonna do the greatest unveiled Scooby-Doo mask I've ever done.

SPEAKER_30

Wow. He's gonna kidnap her.

SPEAKER_19

Are you waiting? And hide her in that room. I am Wednesday, November 26th, live on a rooftop penthouse in Manhattan.

SPEAKER_18

Double tree.

SPEAKER_19

Double tree. Looking right at the Empire State building. 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time Zone.

SPEAKER_18

Man, I can say this. I carry it out in this bag all the time. I'm gonna expose every dirty secret.

SPEAKER_30

Of Rebecca Lynn, whatever.

SPEAKER_18

And it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun.

SPEAKER_30

Please tell me you have it saved so we can watch the case.

SPEAKER_18

Let's get ready, America. Ready? Let's have fun. Alright. Love and peace. And restraining orders.

SPEAKER_30

Oh no. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_26

I know you were bipolar and everything.

SPEAKER_30

You have a nut sack on your face.

SPEAKER_37

Chin nuts. Bolchinny.

SPEAKER_30

Bolchinny.

unknown

Bolchinny.

SPEAKER_41

I knew aliens were here already.

SPEAKER_48

Talking to you.

SPEAKER_41

What you talking to me for?

SPEAKER_48

I mean you staring right at me.

SPEAKER_41

Staring at you?

SPEAKER_48

I mean, you looking right at me, standing there looking at me.

SPEAKER_41

I'm not looking at you. I don't know what made you think that.

SPEAKER_48

You just still standing there looking at me.

SPEAKER_41

I'm not looking at you, sir. I'm not. You looking right at me. So I'm looking at you. Yeah, you looking right at me. And if I was, it's a fucking problem. So it's a problem that it's a problem that I'm blind.

SPEAKER_48

What the fuck? I got something for that.

SPEAKER_41

I'm gonna call my brother.

SPEAKER_48

Man, call me your friend, bro.

SPEAKER_41

Hey, bro. Hey, where you at?

SPEAKER_48

Call that motherfucker. Call that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_41

Hurry up. It's a dude. Push up. Oh no.

SPEAKER_48

Backup line, too. Backup line.

SPEAKER_41

Right here. I think he's in front of me. Yes. It's hot. So you disrespect me?

SPEAKER_48

It's me. It's me. I can't see him. I am not going to be getting into it with two people that can't see me. You still talking crap.

SPEAKER_30

Can you two go do that? You two? I want me and Brian.

SPEAKER_37

Blind guys.

SPEAKER_30

Taylor and Brian. Find out.

SPEAKER_45

So if that's a nut cracker. Would that be a nut?

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

No. He won't do that.

SPEAKER_43

That's perfect.

SPEAKER_28

I can't say that. He can't.

SPEAKER_43

No, you can't. You can't.

SPEAKER_28

Damn, Cat Williams. That's the one. That's Cat Williams.

SPEAKER_26

Show me that butthole, baby. I won't see that starfish. Let it shine like a maybe. Oh, I loved him.

SPEAKER_35

You don't embarrass your kids, are they really your kids? Why did you have them?

SPEAKER_31

Oh.

SPEAKER_28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Okay.

SPEAKER_28

Okay.

SPEAKER_30

Red dress. Honey, you can't dance like that in flats.

SPEAKER_43

Is that BTK?

SPEAKER_28

BTK?

SPEAKER_30

Dennis. Oh, at least he has shorts on. Bloomers. For the dancing.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_36

Hair flow. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Like his eyebrow?

SPEAKER_05

Uh.

SPEAKER_35

Is he Wilma?

SPEAKER_16

Well.

SPEAKER_43

I would have gotten away with it. I would have gotten away with me.

SPEAKER_03

Are you afraid that if you slam a door too hard, all that fun is gonna eventually combust and explode your home? Me fucking too. If you have a solution, please call me.

SPEAKER_37

I think that's our brother Dan.

SPEAKER_30

Brother? Yes. Oh!

SPEAKER_23

I'm David Balboa. A little bit of fitness walking.

SPEAKER_00

Enough shop talk. Let's walk. Oh, I guess I can we'll walk while you talk.

SPEAKER_23

One of the advantages of fitness walking is doing it with friends who like to talk makes it like a social event.

SPEAKER_09

Can you just see? So I'll be Aldi again. And I'm not sure. My name is Henry Copper, but people call me the boy who lived. Because Randy Mort, the world's worst crackhead, slapped me with a stolen piece of magical copper and left me with a turd-shaped scar right on my corner.

SPEAKER_55

I'm gonna teach you a very important skill today. First, you're gonna add your sage, and you're gonna add a little bit of fry bread. That's the perfect potion to keep the people away and the skin.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my god, bruh!

SPEAKER_09

I'm still alive. Come on, these nuts!

SPEAKER_42

Wow, that's such a cool school pet you've got. Thanks, her name's Polly.

SPEAKER_24

This one is speaking to you.

SPEAKER_56

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_24

I have the perfect one for you.

SPEAKER_56

Is that a taquito?

SPEAKER_24

Never doubt the power of a taquito. Try that on that guy.

SPEAKER_56

Hey, this testiculosis!

SPEAKER_09

Wow, I didn't know you could speak Jazz Accleton.

SPEAKER_24

You are shy but kind. I know just where to put you. You're going to the 918.

SPEAKER_11

Yes, that's what I wanted.

SPEAKER_24

Oh, Henry Copper, how peculiar. I think I'll put you in the 405 and test your courage. Yes, yes, is what people are. Oh, a speaky one. I know just where to put you, the shady 580.

SPEAKER_14

That's no, I promise I'm not like that.

“Bad Boy” Anthems And Magic Fingers

SPEAKER_03

Hurry, quick, we've gotta get to the ministry of magic. Let's go!

SPEAKER_09

Look, we're there!

SPEAKER_03

Broms! That's just the broms.

SPEAKER_09

Yeah, where else would they be?

SPEAKER_03

Oh god, god damn! My elbow! My elbow!

SPEAKER_09

It's our next 48 hours.

SPEAKER_42

Um upset. Oh you can always get off the skateboard. This is true, not just for the skateboard. This is true for life. You can always get off. Just started rubbing your pins. Your pussy! Do not be afraid, you can always get off. Oh, I'm on a boat, I am scared. You can always get off. Is that an extra? Oh, I'm on a bike, I'm going to get a crush. You can always get off. Life is depressing. Oh no! You can always get off Squeak this out. Do not be afraid. Just get off. Just put it on a t-shirt. Just get off. Just get off.

SPEAKER_03

I'm full of ideas.

SPEAKER_30

Pile his ass and get him on the podcast immediately. I'm full of ideas.

SPEAKER_48

Don't need a brag.

SPEAKER_30

What is it? That's what I need in my office. A fancy bottle. A fancy bottle.

SPEAKER_35

Right here. She's gonna end up getting a mold of your buttle?

SPEAKER_28

Uh you would.

SPEAKER_35

You don't have a hemiweight on it.

SPEAKER_30

It's a chandelier. I don't want to watch this. I don't want to watch this.

SPEAKER_37

You are going to see people of Walmart feet in this one.

SPEAKER_20

It looks like a ew. Whose hair is that? Ours.

SPEAKER_35

Like if you could kill somebody with your toenails, you should probably do something about that.

SPEAKER_31

That's a whole other shoe size. You find shoes too big.

SPEAKER_43

You think they wear close-toed shoes? Yeah, it's on the It was on a fourth toe. And it's still gonna give you an extra shoe size. How is that anyway?

SPEAKER_30

Your ring toe? I mean, like, some people barely have a ringtoe.

SPEAKER_37

You know when you get a medical examiner, how do you when you when you can see something and you kind of know what it smells like.

SPEAKER_02

Hello? Hook up my fucking pussy. Oh god my ass.

SPEAKER_19

Oh my god, by the way. Shit, fucker.

SPEAKER_16

The fuck you should have been mad.

SPEAKER_43

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03

Shark?

SPEAKER_12

K G B. K B awesome.

SPEAKER_18

Where's your dad at? Where's he at?

SPEAKER_46

Where's your dad at?

SPEAKER_31

Whoa! No. Oh my Lanta.

SPEAKER_46

Whoa.

SPEAKER_31

No! I saw blood. Just a young girl with the quick fuse.

SPEAKER_41

That's a I was uptight.

SPEAKER_37

What? What has happened? What has happened to Axel Rose? Axel Rose. I thought that was Britt Michaels. This was sweet child of mine.

SPEAKER_28

That's called meth and family.

SPEAKER_37

Sweet child of meth.

SPEAKER_28

That's methew.

SPEAKER_30

She meth.

SPEAKER_35

She meth asked you a question. That's real meth up, man.

SPEAKER_30

You're assuming that person's gender.

SPEAKER_35

They get social.

SPEAKER_30

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stomp it up. Stomp it up. Stomp it up. Stomp it up. Hey, I'm gonna I'm gonna bring that to our Christmas show.

SPEAKER_29

Granny!

SPEAKER_30

With your sketchers! Honey, falling down doesn't count.

SPEAKER_35

The internet has told people that this is what works.

SPEAKER_31

This is what works!

SPEAKER_35

They are wrong. Are they though? Yes.

SPEAKER_37

Sometimes I sometimes I really hate being white. Not claiming that.

SPEAKER_31

That's totally white? That's totally me.

SPEAKER_37

I'm the guy in the back.

SPEAKER_31

I'm the girl in the floral dress. With your sketchers?

SPEAKER_37

This is a motherfucking apple piece.

SPEAKER_30

That's river spirit. We know it is.

SPEAKER_35

Where's Daddy? I keep waiting on the hip implants to like pop out and waitress is like, could you please get I'm just trying to bring y'all triple diver.

SPEAKER_30

This is a family establishment. Love triple diver. There is a children's pizza party happening just next time. Happy Halloween. Yeah. I sent you this one.

SPEAKER_23

Bar girl and gilcur.

SPEAKER_35

This is the unmasking.

SPEAKER_37

This video here.

SPEAKER_30

No.

Finale Bits, Birthday Sign‑Off, Next Episode Tease

SPEAKER_37

This is This video here is how Casey drums. They're not even Casey. This is how Casey drums right here.

SPEAKER_35

Like, how do you clap on half and two and a half?

SPEAKER_30

Talent.

SPEAKER_35

Real talent.

SPEAKER_30

Is that Ukraine?

SPEAKER_35

Yeah, it's to the right. That's what all the tax money went for.

SPEAKER_30

All our bottom bugs weren't out there.

SPEAKER_37

Pretty Mercury is just rolling in his green.

SPEAKER_35

Hey, I did.

SPEAKER_30

This chick is funny as shit though. Blah blah blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_26

Snorlax?

SPEAKER_37

Snorlax, whatever.

SPEAKER_26

Snorlax is. But she's really funny.

SPEAKER_37

Oh, hold on.

unknown

She is funny.

SPEAKER_37

I want I want you to pay careful attention to the attention that they took to step down from their I would say stairs, but step. Stoop. Okay. Very steep. Very steep.

SPEAKER_09

Well, when you have a drop off.

SPEAKER_31

Okay. What do you do in life to that?

SPEAKER_30

That's a condition, I'm sure. You know what I mean? That's a syndrome. I feel like you're being punished for something. There are some genetic markers that indicate the likelihood for something you did over time. Past life punishment.

SPEAKER_37

It's a family tree that has really branched in quite a few directions, maybe.

SPEAKER_28

I can't mountain mom to deal with it.

SPEAKER_37

This guy shrunk in the dry.

SPEAKER_31

Why is nipples so dark?

SPEAKER_40

Hey! They're not as close together as the other guy.

SPEAKER_43

Come on, Bobby.

SPEAKER_30

Oh no, not the scoliosis.

SPEAKER_37

A shark fin.

SPEAKER_38

Okay. Good morning, everybody. It's Vampira. Vampira! Back. So let's get started on these cooking videos, y'all. Alright. I know I've been gone a while. What are we cooking? We are back. We're the Vamp Kick and see what Mama Vamp is cooking. Mama Vamp. Mama Vamp.

SPEAKER_37

Very wide of you. She had a recipe.

SPEAKER_38

A medical macelet?

SPEAKER_37

Couldn't you cut that off before the video? Or you gotta go back.

SPEAKER_29

Garlic butter on it. Garlic butter.

SPEAKER_38

Alright.

SPEAKER_35

Because the deal says chicken seasoning doesn't mean garlic that that's all you got.

SPEAKER_16

Ah, that's a little salt.

SPEAKER_38

A little bit of parmesan. That's a garlic powder.

SPEAKER_31

Oh. That's a little garlic.

SPEAKER_38

Parmesan.

SPEAKER_31

Oh, parmesan.

SPEAKER_38

Give that a good shake. And now we're gonna put a little tat of salt on these. Just tat. Alright, we got our chicken fries? French fries in there. Now I'm gonna come in. Okay. I'm gonna top it right here. Oh, with the blue box, huh?

SPEAKER_30

No, that ain't even blue box. That's the Quate brand.

SPEAKER_38

That's best choice. Yep.

SPEAKER_43

Maybe.

SPEAKER_38

What else?

SPEAKER_31

Not even Croker. Little paper boats.

SPEAKER_38

Rilled chicken. Works for bowling alley.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_30

Absolutely. Absolutely. That is bowling alley.

SPEAKER_37

Is that it? Where's the garnish?

SPEAKER_28

Chicken.

SPEAKER_37

Some garnish.

SPEAKER_35

More salt. That's it. So that's it. She was. She had a heart attack.

SPEAKER_28

And that was grilled chicken.

SPEAKER_37

I'm definitely not listening to the uh doctor's orders on a heart healthy diet. Right.

SPEAKER_30

That is diet non-compliant, friends.

SPEAKER_37

A meal. She's in bulking season. Yeah. That's a very yellow meal.

SPEAKER_02

That is very yellow.

SPEAKER_43

LDL has all of a sudden gone up quite a bit. LDL. And um This is not what we would call good cholesterol. This is bad.

SPEAKER_37

Cut back on that nacho cheese.

SPEAKER_38

And a little bit of jalapeno peppers.

SPEAKER_37

Oh, thank you for the green. I needed green. Yeah, there we go. That's better. Loaded chicken. Birthday dinner. Friend friends?

unknown

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_30

Oh. Imagine.

SPEAKER_05

Left what? You know what they say. It's not a real road trip unless you stop at bussies. Bussies. Bussies.

SPEAKER_37

Was that a foot or a hand?

SPEAKER_29

Oh!

SPEAKER_07

Good morning, everyone. Here's Philip and his new cat, Lulu. No.

SPEAKER_22

No. Did they have any nasty cards? I like nasty cards. There she goes. That's me.

SPEAKER_28

That's my grandma and 91.

SPEAKER_22

That's me and 91. Like nasty. Shoot this week.

SPEAKER_43

What are you talking about, Lul 91?

SPEAKER_22

I want the baby down the card.

SPEAKER_35

I want the nasty cards.

SPEAKER_22

I want the and her come over here and aggravate the hell out of me. That is my grandma. Everything's gone up.

SPEAKER_31

Everything, goddammit.

SPEAKER_22

Because you're hateful and already you've ruined my day. If you say that again, I'll hit you with this card. Where's that pink sauce everybody's using and losing weight?

SPEAKER_30

Where's that pink salt everybody's using and losing weight?

SPEAKER_22

Mom. Himalayan pink salt. Is that where you saw pink salt? Is on TikTok? No, I was reading the Bible the other night, and there was an entire chapter in Ephesians that was all about pink salt. That's where I read it from, Catherine. And if you'd get the holy book out, maybe you can see what pink salt was on TikTok. Start. Stop. If you say that, I have a real good idea. Why don't you go over to the makeup and I'll find you. Okay. Why do I do this to myself? Good question. I do it because she loves Dollar Tree. What are you talking about? I'm talking to myself about taking you to Dollar Tree. Mother, why do you need cherry pie? I want to put it on a plate and eat it. You're just gonna eat some cherry pie feeling? Give it back to me. Okay, do you want it? No. Okay, here. I don't want it because you're ruining my life. You yelling at. Yeah, I'll be yelling.

SPEAKER_30

If that ain't Carolyn Hansen, I don't know who it is.

SPEAKER_35

Haribo gummy bears. Woman you're driving reviews. Oh my god. Amazing. Here we are. Haribo sugar free gummy bears.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, I don't think I've seen that. Look at this fully stocked.

SPEAKER_22

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_30

Won't need to pull that up.

SPEAKER_22

You don't remember? I'm 91 and I know everything. Oh no. Hey for me, been in Dollar Tree with my mom. I like to see my friends nasty cards. Uh I don't I don't think so. Like have a happy fucking howl. That is Taylor. I'm gonna send him dirty cards. I don't see any. Lotta dee. Lada D. Tidings of comfort and joy to you. Thank you. Bitch. Bitch.

SPEAKER_35

She seems like a good time. Is that gonna be you and Molly?

SPEAKER_22

Yeah. She's saying it's got cold. Praise the Lord. I like her.

SPEAKER_31

Oh no!

SPEAKER_19

Uh oh.

SPEAKER_31

Not him again.

SPEAKER_19

Hi, everyone. Hi. You know all the jobs and tasks I do. I've had the worst Monday ever. Sorry there hasn't been a video I normally release with some positive motivational things. I'm struggling today. I've had the single worst professional work day of my entire 43 years on this planet.

SPEAKER_28

He's only 43?

SPEAKER_19

It's been horrible. I'm having a witch hunt done on me in my personal life. I've been personally attacked by something. I don't like what's going on. And these people won't shut up. They're only going to involve themselves in a legal matter that will destroy them and bring down their own damn company.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_19

People butt their nose in. And people, when you butt your nose in your fucking business that you shouldn't butt your fucking nose in, you should shut the ever-living motherfucking fuck up. Shut the goddamn fuck off.

SPEAKER_43

Will Smith, the shy labuff, and hair robot. Go home and stop cussing because you're not good at it.

SPEAKER_19

Because what you're doing, you're butting your nose in personal matters that don't matter. And a comp I'm sorry, companies have no right. And I'm a CEO of Hudson Valley Solution. I don't need to know my employees.

SPEAKER_30

Pause and Google that place immediately.

SPEAKER_19

Their personal life. When a company steps that bounds, you're a piece of shit, motherfucking douchebag, goddamn cut motherfucking cut barber strice and barbers Barbara. Don't you talk about barbers rice and just kitchen strays for no reason.

SPEAKER_30

Bams did nothing to use.

SPEAKER_04

Women come and go. Not for you.

SPEAKER_43

Like nobody's just the implied eye contact wallets going on, too. Let me get on bottom by you guys.

SPEAKER_08

That's what's going down.

SPEAKER_16

Let me do your body line.

SPEAKER_55

What is the chicken ass's head? How does it get flatter?

SPEAKER_37

That is the most giant vagina I've seen from the back.

SPEAKER_31

That's our Erica brother.

SPEAKER_16

The calf muscles, though.

SPEAKER_35

I'm gonna have nightmares.

SPEAKER_30

I'm more confused than I was when it started. A wiggle?

SPEAKER_03

What? Them girls won't say you wiggle. Much more.

SPEAKER_30

Oh Why would you do this on your front pork?

SPEAKER_16

At all.

SPEAKER_30

That's what he's gonna do. That's all he knows how to do. Oh! Oh hello!

SPEAKER_54

Stop!

SPEAKER_30

Is this a walk of shame?

unknown

Not the burst room.

SPEAKER_37

Didn't we see that person in like Star Wars part of the band? She turned into a hooker. It was time though.

SPEAKER_05

That's true. Todd Davis.

SPEAKER_37

He's back.

SPEAKER_31

Oh no.

SPEAKER_19

Hi everyone. This is Todd Davis. Okay. This is All Saints Day. This is a notice to all those who think they have successfully destroyed me. This is a message and a warning.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_19

Tomorrow, I strike. Whoa. Tomorrow the rise of Super Todd Davis's regime. Your name's Todd.

SPEAKER_30

You immediately can't.

SPEAKER_37

Todd. Hey, we treaty here. Truce.

SPEAKER_19

Truce. I will not fail. I only know how to succeed. Tomorrow, Monday, you will see. And remember these words. Remember, remember, remember the 5th of November.

SPEAKER_46

Okay.

SPEAKER_19

It is a very famous famous. Well. Imagine me being the king, King James. You want to come after the king?

SPEAKER_37

Wait, you're Todd. Now you want to be King James of the Bible? Variety? King James version.

SPEAKER_19

Don't miss. And you opponents out there have missed badly the mark. Tomorrow. You couldn't even let your music fresh.

SPEAKER_30

Siren in the background.

SPEAKER_37

I don't think he's aware that he's speaking in riddles.

SPEAKER_28

Oh no, Bown Cow. Feministly.

SPEAKER_37

Femiminously. If you shoot the king, you bet not miss. Because all my opponents badly mark missed.

SPEAKER_31

All king horses, all king horses.

SPEAKER_43

I just I wanna be I wanna see what he thinks this looks like.

SPEAKER_27

Like what does he think it is? Right, like he thinks this post brand, like he's gotta rewatch it.

SPEAKER_35

I'm gonna show my strength.

SPEAKER_30

And it's like post. He put the music in in post and didn't finish the video with his music. Am I right?

SPEAKER_45

That's what he's gonna do to his opponent.

SPEAKER_30

Nailed it. Love and peace.

SPEAKER_20

Love and peace. Love and peace. Chicken grease.

SPEAKER_37

You're all gonna die.

SPEAKER_20

Cruise plus drink.

SPEAKER_34

White people kill me.

SPEAKER_30

White people on cruises, I think, are a totally different breed of white person.

SPEAKER_28

You'll love this. Oh, I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know who's back up in this motherfucker? DPG man nigga turn a chip. And when they bring this in the club, baby, you got to get up. The giving it up. Life, your life, boy, we're living it up. Take it testing in the party for sure. Slip my whole forty-four when she got in the back door. Bitches, look it at me, strange, but you know I don't care. Step up in this motherfucker, just to swing in my hair. Bitch, quit talking, quit talking, we for down with the set. Take a bullet with some dick and take this dope with this jet. You know what? I ain't mad about it.

SPEAKER_54

One tap up. Just fine.

SPEAKER_31

Sorry's voice smells an Indian guy.

SPEAKER_54

Find it. Jingle message, please.

unknown

Wait, what?

SPEAKER_06

There's a lot going on right there.

SPEAKER_43

Jingle message, please. Have you heard that one of the jingle bells?

SPEAKER_44

Jingle bells, jingle bells.

SPEAKER_46

Okay.

SPEAKER_39

Okay. Okay. I want to sock your blood. It's just Susan. What I want is for come to. I want you to at Susan's Halloween hole. We've stopped touching our customers. The big day is right around the corner. And I think you might need some makeup. And maybe and you need to wear makeup. I'm here's the makeup. I'm Susan, and I'm gonna kill myself. Get the fuck off me. Let me do this! Alright, everyone, calm down. These prices! These prices bomb! It says duty. Duty. Shut up. You're not gonna find Chucky this big. Or the trans one. Fuck me and fuck this thing. By the looks of it, you probably do. I don't want anyone swearing from now on. I don't want to hear any more profanity. I'm about to fucking pop. If you forgot to wear a condom, we have your baby's going trick-or-treating this year. Cover up your mistakes so you can send it down the street and get candy. Are you in more? We have all sexual sexy costumes for sluts. For sluts. Lots of kind of laboo-bi laboo-boo. That is definitely a sex toy. Sorry, we're trying to do this commercial. I'm pregnant. I'm stunned. I'm gonna go home with you. Not me. You're both white. And necklaces too! I hope you get in a wreck on the way home. We have a minion. Minion. You say minion enough times he sounds like a Chinese person. Are you rolling? Yeah. Don't roll. I was just being racist. I'm just done. Minion. One more hour, please. I understand. I know that, but no one asked you to get busted in your front button shit out of pussy turtle. We all know what we need to do. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. Can you please just say one more hour? You need serious help. A wig can tell a tale of a thousand lives. And in this one, she's a he! I'm to the conclusion that I want to die. Halloween made me a woman.

SPEAKER_30

Oh my god. I want to spend so much money in that store. That wasn't road trip!

SPEAKER_01

Road trip. This right here is the Lawrence Dangalang. Dangalang.

SPEAKER_31

No, that bun ain't gonna fit that.

SPEAKER_05

He got a sausage biscuit. But here's a sausage biscuit. Saufted biscuit.

unknown

Ah.

SPEAKER_54

Okay. That's enough of that.

SPEAKER_43

It's Todd Davis. What's the girl that's a good one? Please, Darlins, I'm gonna just try it out.

SPEAKER_28

Am I good at rap?

SPEAKER_43

If you have to ask.

SPEAKER_30

It's a Jordan sound. It's like when she raps.

SPEAKER_45

I found another video of you.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, that is me later. I will never have a haircut. Can we make that promise to each other we will never let each other get this haircut? Don't do it.

SPEAKER_43

She is flogging out of her mind.

SPEAKER_30

She's loving her best luck right now.

SPEAKER_31

I mean What did y'all call that Molly? I like Molly!

SPEAKER_53

Your butthole is all soapy and slippery and loose, because you just finished violently credit card swiping it with a bar of soap in the shower. And then you sneeze, and the force of the sneeze makes you accidentally power shark a fat, soapy dookie log and down your leg onto the shower floor. Dookie log? You don't have to furiously waffle stomp it down the drain or try to pick it up with your bare hands and LeBron James dookie flop it from across the bathroom into the toilet. You can just leave it there and say the cat took a dump in the shower. If anyone asks why the turdlog is so huge, just say you've been feeding him more. The booty region is one of the primary fat storage areas in the human body, especially in women, since higher estrogen levels encourage proportionally more adipose tissue deposition in the hips, thighs, and buttons. I observe this in nature when I take your mom on a date to the movies and have to pay for three tickets. Take up two whole seats. My uncle Dwight, who has giant that look like cow milkers, told me that some species of fish. But I tried it with my gold. Just getting another idea.

SPEAKER_11

Pizza.

SPEAKER_10

Are you probably for pizza bites? I would skip these ones from Tortinos with a lot of things. Why is she so funny? Ultra process ingredients and they contain a bioengineer food ingredients. Instead, I would go for these ones from against the green that are gluten-free and made with real food ingredients.

SPEAKER_28

No. Real ingredients.

SPEAKER_37

This is me with my samurai sortered. I've been blasting people. Blah, blah, blah, blah!

SPEAKER_28

That's the sharp side shit. Mom! No, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_45

He's gonna pass out. So Timmy committed suicide today. In an unfortunate samurai sort of accident.

SPEAKER_30

Oh no. Oh get it, girl. Don't do that with your mouth. Make a love too with time.

SPEAKER_37

Don't go profile. Oh, I don't want to.

SPEAKER_27

Don't do that. Don't cheat a belt. She's fit.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, it's so bird! Crackers! Are you happy for crackers at Costco? Let's skip cheese crackers with enriched flour, soybean oil, and preservatives. Instead of coming from fire hook that I need organic wheat, olive oil, honey, yeast, and sea salt.

SPEAKER_28

Why does she look like she got put in multiple? I'm gonna treat you this way.

SPEAKER_13

Sometimes AI is cool.

SPEAKER_30

Sometimes I feel weird.

SPEAKER_37

The one chick that was talking about the different foods. She has a bunch of videos like that talking about healthier choices. I bet. Then there's an account.

SPEAKER_31

Oh no.

SPEAKER_37

That takes all our videos it up.

SPEAKER_31

That's arts.

SPEAKER_28

Is it you? Is it you?

SPEAKER_37

No, I wish I had the idea.

SPEAKER_30

Sucker time? Butt suckers. Butt suckers.

SPEAKER_31

I had a pee. Can we do we have time or what?

SPEAKER_30

Go pee. Go. You get the grape one. You asked to leave. Why are you acting like this? You don't even have buttons on your pants. What do you mean it's such a process?

SPEAKER_43

I know. Uh, I've already gotten a massage. I've gotten naked once today.

SPEAKER_37

You have to get all the way naked to pee? To poop? That's weird. Naked poop? Okay.

SPEAKER_35

It's only if you wear a robber.

SPEAKER_37

What flavor would you like? I'll let you go first.

SPEAKER_30

Wemin.

SPEAKER_37

Wemmin?

SPEAKER_28

Lemon.

SPEAKER_36

Oh.

SPEAKER_30

Grape on purpose? On purpose? Yeah. Like for real? You like grape?

SPEAKER_37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

You didn't have diamond tap as a kid, apparently.

SPEAKER_37

I did. Maybe some of us like it.

SPEAKER_30

My parents used to call it grape grape, and it was shut Casey up real fast medicine.

SPEAKER_37

I wonder how this is gonna work. I hope we don't get electrocuted.

SPEAKER_30

Probably.

SPEAKER_37

I wonder what kind of music is. It's that Snoop Indian. Snoop Dotty Dot. Earplugs.

SPEAKER_30

What? So you can hear it better? Show the camera. So you don't have ambient noise. So you only have the noise that's coming from your mouth?

SPEAKER_37

Oh, I thought it was a depository.

SPEAKER_30

I mean it I mean I mean you can put anything up your butt.

SPEAKER_37

There's a will, there's a way, huh? It's only 50 calories.

SPEAKER_35

Okay, let's see. Long press long press the button to turn on. Is what it's what she said. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_30

Hey Bev, you know that button? Long press it. What the fuck? Earplugs? Earplugs? What flavor did you pick?

SPEAKER_37

She got blue. So I got red. Alright. So I got strawberry.

SPEAKER_31

Blueberry. Huh?

SPEAKER_37

Blue bowls.

SPEAKER_31

You got blue balls? Hell no, I take care of that. Whoa! She finishes her.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah, she does.

SPEAKER_28

He's not a vegetable. He's vegetable.

SPEAKER_37

You put that in her mouth?

SPEAKER_31

Put it in your mouth, Dad. I'll use the earplugs. I'm gonna use these later.

SPEAKER_37

So you long press the little button.

SPEAKER_35

The diagram.

SPEAKER_20

I need you to tell me immediately, right now, on air. Never mind.

SPEAKER_28

I can't open it.

SPEAKER_31

What do you have in your mouth?

SPEAKER_30

The sucker.

SPEAKER_31

What is this? Where do you get this? You guess this is on Timu. Timu is happening. Oh, what's the sucker part?

SPEAKER_30

Oh. What are we pressing? Okay. Well, the sucker isn't terrible.

SPEAKER_31

Where? Like LSD and then do this.

SPEAKER_13

Yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_37

Here we go.

SPEAKER_31

Everybody tried.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_37

I had mine in my butt.

SPEAKER_31

You would.

SPEAKER_37

TikTok talent show.

SPEAKER_31

Can you hear it normal?

SPEAKER_37

You can hear it a little bit from this little thing.

SPEAKER_35

Under the instructions. Playlist song.

SPEAKER_31

Don't call me.

SPEAKER_35

We're gonna work it out.

SPEAKER_31

50 calories.

SPEAKER_35

What artist?

SPEAKER_37

No.

SPEAKER_35

Umart Winters, Alex Nova, and Christopher Jenkins.

SPEAKER_28

Nicholas Patrick Kingsley.

SPEAKER_35

Tom Griffith.

SPEAKER_31

Dean Justin for the Nova.

SPEAKER_37

That's weird. Something else. Alright, well, let's see what uh other people can do for us.

SPEAKER_56

A quif is a fart that your pussy makes. One is your fart and the whole room shits. A quif is a fart that your pussy makes. One big fart and my squid in fleets. What? Your what infleets?

SPEAKER_13

Did she say squid? She said squid.

SPEAKER_56

Squid.

SPEAKER_13

Video out now on YouTube. Video out on YouTube now.

unknown

Run it up, run it up.

SPEAKER_31

Run it up. Run it up.

SPEAKER_37

You're not running nowhere.

SPEAKER_31

The bill? Me? I'm not for sure.

SPEAKER_35

Sad part is still better than most of the mumble rap.

SPEAKER_30

I bet she's on a sucker.

SPEAKER_35

Probably.

SPEAKER_30

Sexy. Sexy and flexy.

SPEAKER_14

Okay. Flexi. Dirty. No, let's get filthy. This is my best one yet. Love pizzas and cream. Riding that horse till he busted a spring. Now I'm on that curb smoking that herb, looking for another horse to ride. This time I'll take my time. Big booty jawbreaker. When I leave and call the Undertaker. I'm sexy and flexi. Can he handle my interlexie? I can warm you up between my chests. I'm dyslexic. Turn me down, maybe forever rest. Now I'm out of commission. Yes, may you forever rest. I'm out of breaking.

SPEAKER_35

I mean, that's not a good way to go.

SPEAKER_14

Can't get enough of me. Après, turn the page. I'm one and three. He can try, but he knows he's stuck. I'ma ride that horse and don't give a fuck. Big booty jawbreaker. When I leave him, call the Undertaker. I'm sexy and flexi. Can he handle my inner Lexi? I can warm you up between my chest. Inner Lexi down, may you forever rest.

SPEAKER_30

So now we're talking about Teddy Fuck.

SPEAKER_14

Sexy Flexi. Who's ready to be Nexi? Sexy Flexi. Meet my girl named Lexi. Sexy Flexi. Who's ready to be Nexi? Sexy Flexi.

SPEAKER_35

She said this is her best, which means there's worse.

SPEAKER_14

Big booty jawbreaker. When I leave him, call me in Booty Jawbreaker.

SPEAKER_28

Which means there's worse.

SPEAKER_14

Can you handle my email?

SPEAKER_28

No. Okay, she's pretty. Why she got the Don cleaning gloves on.

SPEAKER_29

And big loose the K duo.

SPEAKER_28

Yes, I like it. Nice.

SPEAKER_30

Looks like you ain't have her.

SPEAKER_27

Okay. Hey little bitch dick, pussy ass pig shit. Booker fucking pity sucking mother looking b- Why you being such a fucking pube, man? Why you waving inflatable arm flailing tube, man? Everyone can see you jumping around, dropping all two cents like it weighs a pound. Turns out everything you think is such a big deal.

SPEAKER_05

Whoa.

SPEAKER_27

So what the fuck is with all the fuss? Take a fucking breath and let's discuss. You're real cute when you feel us, but why are you so serious?

SPEAKER_30

Is this ICP?

SPEAKER_27

It is ICP.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_30

I need you to send that to Eric immediately. Okay.

SPEAKER_16

When you girlfriend.

SPEAKER_26

Beautiful. You need to go's got four tires and it looks like shit, but the material is leather and it's fully equipped and it drives itself. So I think we all know what's up. So I look in the mirror and I wake at myself. And then I take a deep breath and go down on myself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Wait, you don't have that cyber truck anymore, right?

SPEAKER_26

It's all rolling down. So everybody sees me going to town. It's gonna cut me driving myself nuts. And I hope my horn went up.

SPEAKER_30

I didn't know Cybertrucks made me flex.

SPEAKER_26

On my way to work, on my way back home, I got my head between my ankles, giving myself dumb. After I finish, I give myself 20 bucks.

SPEAKER_30

Must not be very good.

SPEAKER_26

And I say it's been a pleasure. Hope you come again. Then I get out of my truck and I get back in myself off in my cyber truck.

SPEAKER_30

Wow, yeah. Interesting. Creative.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_30

Fancy. Fancy.

SPEAKER_52

I'm a bad boy. I'm breaking all the rules. I'm a bad, bad boy. I'm the king of cool. I'm a bad man with a master plan. The whole world's gonna know who I am. I'm a bad boy. I'm breaking all the rules. I'm a bad bad boy. I'm the king of cool. I'm a bad man with a master plan. The whole world's gonna know who I am. Step one, I just dream and believe in myself. Step two, I carry on, keep marching through hell. Step three, get the haters the big middle finger. I won't stop believing, don't ever reconsider step four. Dream bigger. He's really proud of that line. Step five, drive harder, break free from my can. Step six, stay strong and don't ever give up. Step seven, on my knees, start praying to God. Yeah, I'm a bad boy. No more conventionality. I'm breaking tradition, gonna make my own reality. I'm a bad man. Oh, my bam, my ramble, lamb. But listen to my gem, I got the master. Like I said, that I have ripping through the red tape. I'ma break the records fast at a super style pace. Let me put it on the record that I'm feeling every day. But I'm gonna break the cycle with a cycling of faith. I'm a nurse, this is green, I'm a miracle believer. I plan my sweet escape by define laws of nature. I'm so consaturated, I almost fallin' in my face. But I got the master plans, so my best with the new legislation. The world is like crazy.

SPEAKER_30

I'm a bad boy. Isn't that a garden?

SPEAKER_52

Kind of looks like one of those brown cheeks. I'm a bad boy. I'm breaking all the rules. I'm a bad bad boy. I'm the king of cool. I'm a bad man. With a plan, whole world's teenager rabbit boy or a bad man.

SPEAKER_35

Which would have to say, can't be both.

SPEAKER_28

I'm a bad boy. Oh no. No!

SPEAKER_30

No! Oh my god, I hate I uh This guy makes me so uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, he does wear chit. He does wear chip.

SPEAKER_30

So I think he re I've I've decided. I think he records these videos and then plays them on a loop in his torture dungeon for the women he kidnaps.

SPEAKER_31

He has a wedding ring on.

SPEAKER_04

And breathe. Relax.

SPEAKER_28

Anybody from my wedding ring.

SPEAKER_31

I know, but I'm fine. Dennis Ryder was married. Needs to look in the basement.

SPEAKER_20

Dancing through life, pissing and shitting. Yeah. Farting and chizzing. Pee and poo. Pissing, farting, coming, shorting. Dick and balls. Pissing hard.

SPEAKER_30

No.

SPEAKER_11

Making you squeal some more.

SPEAKER_35

Yep.

SPEAKER_11

You want it more and more. You just can't resist.

SPEAKER_35

Yes, yes, I can.

SPEAKER_11

Magic thing. No. Magic thing. Doubt it. Going up and down your legs. Up and down your belly. Belly. Up and down your leg.

SPEAKER_37

Is she talking to her dog? Or give you the nuclear coat.

SPEAKER_11

Uh ooh, baby.

SPEAKER_37

Making you moan and groan.

SPEAKER_11

I don't like that. Making you scream. In the heat of passion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My fingers are full of magic. Someone get her something for the chap lips. Magic, magic fingers. Fingers. Magic, magic fingers. There are other fingers. Making you feel so fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You want more and more. I know.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop, stop.

SPEAKER_11

Stop. That was the most difficult part of the stuff.

SPEAKER_45

And I used the song very, very liberally.

SPEAKER_11

Magic, magic fingers. Magic, magic fingers.

SPEAKER_35

You know what? She needs to hook up with the Mr. Bad Boy.

SPEAKER_11

Yes. I need a duet.

SPEAKER_35

Why do people post that? Antichrist is gonna come out of that.

SPEAKER_11

And you just want more.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, she did a sexy whisper at the end. That's right.

SPEAKER_35

Welcome to Dairy. There it is. Oh!

SPEAKER_20

Oh, we're gonna fight you there!

SPEAKER_22

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_30

A concept. What I want my next album to be in terms of the sound and the songwriting.

SPEAKER_22

There was a fancy.

SPEAKER_30

In terms of the sound, oh he has several.

SPEAKER_31

But I will give you a hint.

SPEAKER_30

Okay. Okay. Oh no. Oh. He just wanted to wear the fedora. Oh no.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

Is that a two?

SPEAKER_16

A lot of it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06

And a kid forget somehow. Is it the memory?

SPEAKER_27

Like a body.

SPEAKER_40

I can't put that on you. I can't put a love you.

SPEAKER_30

Now Brian, you know what's really upsetting? He was a choir kid. Guaranteed. He was a high school choir kid.

SPEAKER_27

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_30

Oh no. We definitely know them.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_30

He was a choir kid. And that is offensive to all the other choir kids.

SPEAKER_31

I'm gonna have to go soon, so y'all need it. Damn it! Got a hot night 30!

SPEAKER_26

Your wife has just all the time.

SPEAKER_02

Hi there. My name is Amy Stay Curtis. I don't know why. We're all going to hell. Right it out.

SPEAKER_37

That's all I can say.

SPEAKER_30

I feel like we've been writing a long time tonight.

SPEAKER_02

Strange voice is a sick.

SPEAKER_30

Why is it getting slower?

SPEAKER_02

I can understand. It's too close for comfort. The sea has gone right.

SPEAKER_37

This one confused the shit out of me. Because I was prepared for awful and she sings better than I do.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, you threw in a good one, I see.

SPEAKER_37

Every once in a while.

SPEAKER_30

And a point with the single chord.

SPEAKER_02

Now you're gone.

SPEAKER_30

Not too shabby. I'm not mad. Biscuits and blowjobs.

SPEAKER_47

Blowjobs are how you keep a man. Biscuits and blows so true. She's not wrong. All you need is a little patience for both and work on your technique. You can work the doll nice and slow, or quicken up your speed. Either way, he'll be okay. Two things are wrong and beat. His friends will wonder what you got going on. Makes his life tough shift. You might tell him about your kitchen skills. Keep the rest to him.

SPEAKER_37

We miss term Branson.

SPEAKER_47

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_35

It's Figureka Springs. It's a Fureka Springs.

SPEAKER_30

Good job, Nana.

SPEAKER_47

Always sing the chorus one more time, just in case you didn't get the message. All you need is a little patience from both work on your technique.

SPEAKER_35

Nana was removed from the worship team. Nana Okay. It's Snorlax, brother.

SPEAKER_30

Snorlax. Is this the what's Snorlax when they evolve?

SPEAKER_35

Can't be a Pokemon.

SPEAKER_30

I thought that was him for saying I wasn't looking at it.

SPEAKER_35

He's gonna ruin the song.

SPEAKER_40

You will not reach out and touch your eyes! Shut down your face till you fall asleep. I request your underwear. Your fucking jeeps and your ass legs.

SPEAKER_30

Don't roll your eyes, Matt. Brian's scared. This is why I don't go to prison.

SPEAKER_04

So close, no matter how far. Couldn't be much more from the high. Forever trust in you.

SPEAKER_30

He's in his garage. And that makes it more sad. Nothing else.

SPEAKER_03

Sometimes the animal I'm gonna take to the Honorable Wonder Ball?

SPEAKER_30

The random number eighteen. I don't know. I don't know. I'm so uncomfortable this time.

SPEAKER_54

This time.

SPEAKER_31

This is my fucking music. Morning, Julia. Morning, Julia.

SPEAKER_27

I could big beaver.

SPEAKER_56

Oh.

SPEAKER_27

Let's jump right in.

SPEAKER_56

Substantial sucker.

SPEAKER_25

Hello, ladies. For those of you watching, welcome to your future. Um Sean wrote. Sean with a Well and a catch. I'm 6'3 and a half. And I've been underweight for a while. Oh man.

SPEAKER_06

Underweight.

SPEAKER_25

If things come up in a relationship, this is romantic. This was not romantic. I operate from a place of trying to be very romantic, so that's not gonna ever be my fault. If you want to break down a movie afterwards on that range, didn't that? So I would say that's your I deferred you. My worst quality is that's tough. I don't like to be uh told what to do. Somebody tries to direct me into a parking space, that's not gonna go well. Well, I own a specialty pet store. Reptiles, of course, and some spiders. The ideal first date for a lady. Uh good news, I'm not just taking you out for spaghetti wine. I'm gonna invite you to my pet store. The moment you walk in the door, you know you're riding on a 20% discount, but you might end up with uh an iguana and a boyfriend. I'm pretty open on the qualities of a woman I'm looking for, as long as you have uh olive skin and plenty of curves, soft voice. I don't like loud noises. Pink and nails are fine, just not red. Oh I'm in this for the long haul. I would hope my next relationship is forever, but I'm I'm also fine with 10 years. And I and I dare you to date me ten years and try to turn loose of this.

SPEAKER_31

Ooh. Okay. I want to die, yeah.

SPEAKER_40

I want a team.

SPEAKER_37

I want to be you. Hey guys, it's break time.

SPEAKER_30

So he's a I wanna show you. So Taylor, he's showing you that he has a job. And he has the moves. And he's got skills. And he's got a mop. Oh.

SPEAKER_37

He knows how to clean.

SPEAKER_30

What is that? It's time to hung your legs. It's time to spread. Oh.

SPEAKER_40

What's wrong with this nine? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_21

So a lot of ladies they're always asking us, where can you go find a guy? We're kind of, you know. They're not talking to you for that. Well, if what you like me, ladies?

SPEAKER_31

No.

SPEAKER_21

We like to go to the thrift store.

SPEAKER_31

Fest therapy? No. Oh. Fish therapy.

SPEAKER_21

Snowline's hospice thrift store here. Did he say hospice thrift store? If you meet a talking dead people, I got one bad ear, but why does we just don't know what it is yet?

SPEAKER_30

Why does he have domer glasses?

SPEAKER_21

A lot of other places we don't do that. We just go in and we get what we need and we can. And why is your polo unbuttoned? That's my suggestion. And if you're here, you're probably at our level anyway, as far as socially, economically.

SPEAKER_30

Don't insult me!

SPEAKER_21

You're looking for bargains too. Nothing for bargains.

SPEAKER_30

Oh, you are a bargain, boy.

SPEAKER_54

Hey!

SPEAKER_48

No.

SPEAKER_35

Why does his nose enter the room 30 minutes before he does?

SPEAKER_03

Goats and chickens are coming too.

SPEAKER_06

Like, what is that fucking possible?

SPEAKER_49

I think my best quality as a lover is coming second. Hi, I'm Ewain. Um, I am in sales. I was almost sure I was going to be in the FBI. You know, because of a couple of things in high school that that became no longer a possibility for me. I've met a lot of women and I've gone on a number of dates. A number. One woman told me that I was coming on strong. Is that just a strong? And another woman has also told me that. I was dating a woman who had a younger brother who's in school, um, high school. He came into my place of work so I could fit him for a tuxedo for his prompt. We were having a really good time. So when he asked me to buy him some beer, I did it and ultimately told his sister what I did. So that one I don't really see how I could have done better there. If you're not looking for kids, you're not looking for me. So salute and carry on. My mother was a big smoker, and and frankly, the the smell makes me think of her. So honestly, I I prefer I prefer smokers. The biggest hobby is is actually writing. Most of those stories are about sort of strong muscular men attacking beasts and saving women. And so that's the kind of stuff that I'm trying to write on my own. I it's just something that's um, I guess it's pretty silly sounding, but yeah. But maybe um Kyle. Maybe you're interested. I have to be honest, I don't really like being single. I am alone with my thoughts and saying things like stand up straight. Um so where those thoughts come from is definitely a good question. But I think mostly it comes from my father, who I don't really know very well.

SPEAKER_35

Stand up straight. This is on VHS dating. No, that's not great if you have daddy issues as a dude.

SPEAKER_30

As a dude. What? What can we evaluate so quickly?

SPEAKER_35

Okay, so this guy, this is the This is the slow half-brother of the guy from Mythbusters.

SPEAKER_37

And uh they're a pineapple couple, so they're uh wanting Taylor to join as this is not a pineapple couple. Why why do they keep rooting Keith Swift?

SPEAKER_17

I wanna show you that I need you.

SPEAKER_48

I want your body Noah still a very bad time.

SPEAKER_35

That part was not in the discussion of the video with her prior to me.

SPEAKER_16

I love it, I guarantee she has to apologize for her husband all the time to me.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. They're funny. No, beat the chicken.

SPEAKER_30

He has elephantitis. Elephantitis! Rick Flair, go ahead and stuff elephant. I don't want to see his balls from the back.

SPEAKER_35

Hey, buddy, put the mouse in the house.

SPEAKER_37

This is a famous cruise. Sir, this is a Disney cruise!

SPEAKER_54

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_35

And they're in the background going, they don't pay me enough for this. Yep. This is what we get for got enough for our own clues. I'm not gonna make it, Carl.

SPEAKER_36

Oh no. Go back.

SPEAKER_30

Oh no. You're gonna poop. That's his cunt face. That's what that is, right? And when he finishes, he wants you to tell him that you did a good job.

SPEAKER_14

You, uh, Casey!

SPEAKER_30

I'm just telling you what you're in for.

SPEAKER_14

No, it's not happening.

SPEAKER_35

Yeah. He says otherwise. Yeah.

SPEAKER_29

Is it a teddy bear?

SPEAKER_30

Yeah. What are these muscles? Like above the teddy. Above titty.

SPEAKER_23

Hey ladies, if you like a guy who goes full speed, I'm your man.

SPEAKER_30

No, I'm so uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_22

Let's go full throttle.

SPEAKER_40

Come on, baby, make it so good.

SPEAKER_37

On Wednesday week. I think you already get videos like this from Friend Boy.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe.

SPEAKER_31

Outfit of the day. No, he don't do that. I get food videos. Oh, I beat.

SPEAKER_27

Slow down, Grandpa.

SPEAKER_52

Slip it hit.

SPEAKER_27

Oh, he did the blackfoot. Gotta fail a wiener.

unknown

Horses and the stable. I love the way you ride.

SPEAKER_54

Horses and the stable.

unknown

It's a cabinet. Horses and the stable.

SPEAKER_54

That is a wiener. That's a wiener.

SPEAKER_35

I can tell you need emotional support right now.

SPEAKER_40

Mom, you're stripped.

SPEAKER_35

Something's wrong, Mom.

SPEAKER_27

And you know people tell tell these guys that's dope. That's so great. You should post more.

SPEAKER_40

Alright.

SPEAKER_46

Sweet.

SPEAKER_56

Do we have a headband on?

SPEAKER_27

Yep. Yep. And a molest date.

SPEAKER_45

Ooh, a delicious drink.

SPEAKER_55

Daddy juice.

SPEAKER_45

Oh, this tastes really good. Oh, what does it say? Daddy juice. Oh no.

SPEAKER_30

No.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_45

No. No. I guess I'm daddy now. Daddy juice. No.

SPEAKER_30

No.

SPEAKER_45

No.

SPEAKER_30

My ears are offended, and I am really sad that I heard that.

SPEAKER_45

Kidding, are you smiling? That one might make daddy a little two guides.

SPEAKER_29

I don't like that. I don't like that. I'd rather take the little guy.

SPEAKER_35

I know why you show these videos because now it's like, look, I'm the prize.

SPEAKER_13

I could be worse. Huh?

SPEAKER_45

Yeah, look what you could have ended up with. You do do it.

SPEAKER_31

Oh yeah. Oh god.

SPEAKER_30

Purple hair? He really wanted to be in uh oh.

SPEAKER_27

Come on down and buy a knee song.

SPEAKER_30

What were those Molly Ringwall movies? Sixteen candles? Yeah, but like the kit the guy that did those movies. What was his name? John John Mayer. Huh?

SPEAKER_21

Fryer?

SPEAKER_30

No.

SPEAKER_37

The John Cooker Melon can. That guy was. That guy went.

SPEAKER_30

Why does he have butthole on his face?

SPEAKER_35

The guy before was like, somebody told me I look like Henry Winkler. Yeah, so Henry Winkler.

SPEAKER_23

I'm the phone.

SPEAKER_30

Or he thinks he looks like the guy from Breakfast Club. No?

SPEAKER_23

Sure, man.

SPEAKER_30

He has a Snuggie on. And he's wearing a Snuggie.

SPEAKER_17

You had a rough day today? I'm sorry about that.

SPEAKER_37

I feel like I can smell your blood.

SPEAKER_17

Well, at least you're here now. At least you're at home. You're safe. You're sound. But most of all. That's a sloth. You gotta do your day.

SPEAKER_30

Wearing a human suit.

SPEAKER_17

For that. I'm proud of you.

SPEAKER_30

Thank you.

SPEAKER_17

You're good.

SPEAKER_35

You've been since 1994.

SPEAKER_17

Why don't you be worried about it? He was born in 1997. Some rest, some relaxation. And lay down. Because you do matter. Your rest is important. I know.

SPEAKER_46

I don't like it.

SPEAKER_17

Just no. You're not in trouble. You're still in trouble. No. You're good.

SPEAKER_37

It's just a little image, you'll be okay. I just like it.

SPEAKER_17

And rats. Just rats. You have nightmares tonight, aren't you? I like it when they're unconscious. Stay hydrated.

SPEAKER_35

Stay hydrated!

SPEAKER_25

Well, those of you watching, no, not you. No, where are the things? Three and a half. No, you're gonna catch a case is what you can catch.

SPEAKER_30

The couple, for sure. Thrapple it up with them.

SPEAKER_31

The man and woman.

SPEAKER_30

Because they were funny.

SPEAKER_31

Yeah.

unknown

Woo!

SPEAKER_31

That was fun!

SPEAKER_37

That was interesting. That was an interesting episode. I'm nauseous.

SPEAKER_30

I think uh my sucker won't stop.

SPEAKER_35

Yours is still playing? There's some people that would consider that a pro. Like that's a green flag.

SPEAKER_27

Like the last guy?

SPEAKER_30

Oh no, it's the guy before that said something about juices. You want a guy.

SPEAKER_37

Oh yeah, we can record some of those guys on to here. Oh, you can hear you.

SPEAKER_54

You want a guy to go through the house?

SPEAKER_35

Get on the mic. Go ahead, Shane. Get on that.

SPEAKER_30

For those of you who are for those of you who are only listening and not watching, all four of us are Shane has violated his mic. We are deep throating both our suckers and our mics. Two penises. Look how no hands. Two penises.

SPEAKER_37

Well, happy birthday to me.

SPEAKER_31

Happy birthday to me.

SPEAKER_37

And have a good Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_30

Biscuits and blowjobs.

SPEAKER_37

Gonna play us out with a special Thanksgiving song.

SPEAKER_27

Large Lady Land.

SPEAKER_07

Yes! Suck the corn. Geraldine off.

SPEAKER_30

I love Geraldine.

SPEAKER_07

You'll get a watermelon sugar high. My ham needs a good glazin.

SPEAKER_30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Macaroni needs a stir, and in the pot. I got an all-you-can-eat kind of spread. And I think you're gonna like it a lot. Thanksgiving is the best time of year. We'll see you guys on the next episode, which will be the season five finale.

SPEAKER_37

Dropping in December. We got it'll be breaking news. Thanksgiving. We're going to let everyone know we're gonna reveal all the secrets.

SPEAKER_07

I'm thankful as the biggest unmasking for the in two weeks. I could sit and count my blessings or sip my roast beef on your face. Thanksgiving is the best time of year. Wash it down with some tang and a beer, nibble on my juicy thighs, and don't forget to drop a nut in the pie. Oh Thanksgiving is good.

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